The Feinstein Report

Catching up with Arnie

2003-10-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

The Feinstein Report has been on a little vacation. Sort of a working vacation.

I've been neglecting this blog because of my efforts to insure quality entertainment gets to a theater near you. I've been working a lot. Yes, work - you know the activity so foreign to celebrity candidates and career politicians. Anyhow, the show must go on, even if it means my insightful and / or insulting comments get delayed in the process.

Though it's old news by this point, I have to get this off my chest. After Arnie's "grueling" campaign, the first thing he did was jet off to Idaho for a vacation. Has anyone ever told this numbskull people usually go to CALEEFORNIA for their vacation? What does this tell us about Arnie's commitment to the state? And who would pick Idaho, best known as the unofficial home of white supremacists? Strange. Then, to top that off, he shows up in Vegas at some bodybuilding contest. He's in Idaho, Vegas - the guy's allergic to California.

Oh and lookee here - Arnie is off yet again, this time to Washington DC, seeking dollars from his buddies in the White House. I guess this trip is fairly legit, fire disaster and all. But we'll see how far his personal charisma gets him when it comes to extracting greenbacks from 'W' and friends. Here's some free advice for "Octopus Hands Arnie" - I know you may be tempted, but please, please try to avoid groping Condeleeza Rice.

More old news
I enjoyed the minor palace coup in San Francisco last week when supervisor Chris Daly - temporarily in charge while Mayor Willie Brown was on a trip - snuck in a few political appointments. It was fun to see Willie, our version of Boss Tweed, sputtering about how "unfair" and "unethical" this was. Willie, of all people, should know politics is built on such sleazy, underhanded maneuvers. Good stuff. Anytime someone puts a thumb in the eye of a "professional" (corrupt) politician, I get a chuckle.

This brings up the issue of our wandering Gov and his arch nemesis, Lt. Gov Cruz. Will this same scenario play out in Sacramento? There is a precedent for this: many years back, Governor Jerry Brown was off campaigning for President and his Lt. Governor (the long forgotten Mike Curb) tried to appoint some judges. Will Cruz try a similar tactic? Doubtful, as he's a mild mannered sort not prone to such acting out. But still, one wonders....

Feinstein News Nugget
I secured yet another Feinstein Report exclusive. This time it's a transcript of the first meeting between Gray and Arnie. We all saw the photo op with the forced smiles and uncomfortable postures, but here's what went on behind the scenes. In deference to Arnie's cinematic pedigree, the transcript will be presented in movie script format:

FADE IN

INT CAPITOL BUILDNG - DAY
Capitol office entrance. GOVERNOR is prominently displayed on the door, beneath it, the name "Gray Davis" is partially visible. A WORKMAN is carefully scraping it off.

A LARGE CROWD OF SECURITY men push the workman aside and allow ARNIE - chiseled features, finely pressed suit - to enter the office. The door slams shut. GRAY DAVIS, a slight, grey haired man in a blue shirt, approaches the same door. A BEEFY SECURITY GUARD blocks him.

SECURITY GUARD
Where do you think you're going?

GRAY
I'm the Governor, this is my....

SECURITY GUARD
That's a good one (laughs). Just move along, sir.

GRAY
No, really...I'm the Governor.

SECURITY GUARD
(reaching for his baton)
Look Pops, if you want, we can do this the hard way...

Just then, the door opens and ARNIE sticks his head out.

ARNIE
Gray! Vat are you doing out there? Komm in!

GRAY squeezes by the guard and enters.

INT GOVERNOR'S OFFICE - DAY
The room is filled with SECURITY GUARDS. One grabs Gray and frisks him roughly.

GRAY
You know, I'm still Governor until all the votes
are certified...and this is still...ooof...whoa.

ARNIE
Oh, I'm sorry. I know, please have a seat in my,
uh - your - office.

Arnie leads him to a chair. His hand slips down.

GRAY
Hey! Did you just grab my ass?

ARNIE
What? Who -

GRAY
I can't believe you just groped me!

ARNIE
You sound like such a girl, get over it already.

The two sit. A GREY CAT suddenly jumps onto a nearby windowsill. He looks at Arnie with narrowed eyes.

ARNIE
I don't like the Vay that animal looks at me.

GRAY
Oh, that's just Capitol Kitty. He lives around here.

ARNIE
Vatever. Let's get down to business.

GRAY
Yes. Good. Well first of all, the Unemployment
Insurance program will be bankrupt soon and you'll
probably want to ask your "friend" George for some
emergency funds. Also, through no fault of my own,
that whole debt bond thing isn't really working out....

Gray notices Arnie is staring off into space.

GRAY
Arnold. Arnold...

ARNIE
Oh, I'm sorry, vere you talking?

GRAY
I was explaining some urgent matters you
might want to....

ARNIE
You know Gray, I've been thinking...

GRAY
Yes?

ARNIE
I've been thinking...there's a lot of wood paneling
on the walls here.

GRAY
Uh...

ARNIE
It really won't work with my furniture. How about
brushed aluminum? Sort of retro-modern. What do you think?

GRAY
You know, that's not…my thing. Back to the matter at hand,
you'll have about a ten billion shortfall if the debt bond
gets killed in the courts – not my fault of course. Add that
to the...

CAPITOL KITTY
He's lying.

Both men look at the cat, startled.

ARNIE
What the...?

CAPITOL KITTY
He's a liar, that Gray.

GRAY
Listen you! You'll be eating nothing but dry kibble
if you keep this up!

ARNIE
Never mind him. Vat is he lying about Kitty?

CAPITOL KITTY
That debt bond thing, he knew it'd never go
through. His financial guy - the one with the
glasses - told him so. It was a ruse for the
fake budget bill.

GRAY
Traitor! And after all I've done for you!

CAPITOL KITTY
Your wife was the one who fed me. You did nothing.
I hate you.

The cat lies down and begins to clean itself, purring.

ARNIE
Good Kitty!

Arnie walks to the door.

ARNIE
Time for our photo op Gray. Vee smile, make nice talk
you know the drill. (laughs) Don't Vorry, it'll all be over
real soon. At least for you.

Arnie swings the door open and we see CRUZ BUSTAMANTE crouched down, hand to ear - obviously he's been listening in.

CRUZ
Ooops! Oh, ahem...hi.

ARNIE
Who IS dis guy?

CAPITOL KITTY
Oh, don't mind him, he's just the guy who'll be house sitting
when you're off spending quality time in Idaho.

FADE OUT

THE END (?)

I'm Back

2003-10-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

Here I am again. The Feinstein Campaign Report has been renamed and revamped. So what will be different? Well for one thing, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Now that I'm a certified Ex-Candidate, I'm free to spew as much invective and vitriol as required for the situation. So to my legion of fans - all right fan - stay tuned for semi regular commentary on the news and current events. Thank you.

So it appears it's business as usual in Sacramento.

With Arnie poised to enter office as the first "Governor of the People," the public finally has a chance to pluck the bloated ticks from the emaciated carcass of state government. I'm talking about appointees to the endless state commissions, agencies and boards set to leave once Arnie takes his throne. So I was shocked - shocked - to discover that instead of cutting these useless positions, the Governor of the People is replacing each and every one of them. He's even seeking applications on his website, JoinArnold.com. Go apply now! You too could have a chance to be part of the "Off-Highway Motor Vehicle Recreation Commission," "Race Track Leasing Commission" or the highly influential, "Home Furnishing Bureau."

Join Arnold in making sure big, overgrown, unresponsive state government stays that way. Way to go, Arnie, you're off to a great start! Not one to miss an opportunity for political theater, I'll put my personal philosophy aside and apply for one these juicy ripe plums of state employment. Stay tuned as I detail the process in upcoming blogs.

Recall Election "Fun" facts:
21 million Californians are eligible to vote, but only about 15 million chose to register. And in this last election - with its "huge" voter turnout - only 9 million voters pulled themselves away from the TV long enough to cast a ballot. Just think what those 6 million voters could have done to change the outcome of the election.

Arnie's father was a Nazi, 6 million voters missing on election day...uh, wait a minute....

And now, Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned as a Recall Candidate,
or
The Awful Truth:

Thing One:
There's publicity and then there's publicity.

Of course the the holy trinity of recall publicity freaks, Mary, Gary and Larry garnered the lions share of the "minor" candidate vote. But what surprised me was the relatively poor showing of people like Garrett Gruener, who spent a pretty penny on advertising, received good press and had a reasonable message. Of course he bailed at the end to support Cruz, but you'd think he'd have done better, especially with all those banner ads in every online newspaper. And Georgy, with all the media interest she gained and an appealing campaign, showed low numbers as well. To be honest, I couldn't care less about "Ask Jeeves" Gruener, but I was sad for Ms. Russell - a regular person, showed a lot of spunk, passionate about her issues. I guess the voting public identifies more with a smut peddler or a washed up child star.

Thing Two:
It's all in a name - or at least a partial name.

Schwarzenegger meet Schwartzman - he has your missing 11,257 votes. Are some voters really that stupid? Yes.

Thing Three:
Jay Leno is a major league asshole.

The big chinned jokester connived with Arnie for the initial "surprise" announcement, then tried to cast the "other" candidates in a bad light with his hilarious little Tonight Show ambush. And lastly, the evil jester boldly shows up at Arnie's election night gig. Sure, a celebrity can support a particular candidate, but at least be out front about it, don't sneak around and use your dumb show to help a buddy. I'm sure NBC wouldn't want to be known as a patsy for sleazy politicians and their helpers. Or would they....?

Thing Four:
Reporters are like other people; they range from total slimebags to pretty decent folks.

I know, some may question my use of the term 'people' and 'reporters' in the same sentence, but I'm sticking to my guns. Only a few of the journalists I met showed any reptilian morphology. They do, with a few notable exceptions, belong in the species Homo Sapiens. It's not pleasant to be misquoted or be interviewed in a serious way and then show up in some wacky recall clown article, but I understand they're just doing their jobs. And sometimes their job is to make people look foolish. And all their hard work denigrating the little candidates and hurling muck at the big guys helped keep a lot of voters out of the voting booths on election day. So who says the press can't make a difference?

I did meet some reporters I considered intelligent and responsible. Maybe I'll write about them one day, but I'd hate to blow their cover.

Parting Words

2003-10-07T12:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

This is it, the long-awaited day of reckoning. What began as outrage towards crummy, arrogant politicians, and led to my unlikely campaign for Governor now ends this election day. Will I get 100 votes, or just 32? Who the hell cares? My candidacy was about getting some ideas out there and with the help of my clever campaign manager, I managed to meet that goal. So I win.

I was prepared to make my final Feinstein Campaign Report entry a slam piece on the big candidates. It was all written and ready to send. And it was pretty good too - real evil and nasty. Then I thought, what's the point? The major media have already done a great job knocking the big guys, what more could I add?

Instead, I'll take a different approach. I'm going to recognize some of the best Californians - and I'm not talking about candidates. I'm talking about regular people who haven't run for anything, regular people who have improved the state in their own, quiet way. These people go about setting things straight, righting the small wrongs, and generally doing good things. They may not get noticed much, but they keep plugging away.

Way back in my college days, I met a guy named Scott who worked with homeless people. I don't mean occasionally ladling out food during the holidays, this guy knew and worked with homeless folks on a daily basis. Yeah I know, everyone talks about the issue and plenty have worked on it, but this guy was on a single-minded crusade. He organized the usual protests, but also spoke eloquently before the local city council and worked with leaders for concrete solutions. And all this as a student. As a member of another student group, I worked with this guy and found him to be uniquely dedicated to his cause. Years later, after we'd all graduated, I learned Scott had become an ordained minister and continued with his mission, his flock now the homeless, unwanted people of the streets.

Raised in a lousy environment, Hana learned the hard way about interviewing and other practical skills to get jobs. After attending a respected private university on a hard won scholarship, she decided to help others from rough backgrounds get practical skills. She used her expertise to help soon to be released women inmates find and keep jobs - providing a service few think about. Everyone wants ex-cons to go straight, but they don't always think about concrete ways to make this happen. Hana also worked as a mediator and now sits on the Grand Jury. And she's raising two kids. In her spare time, she even helped me in my campaign.

I met Patricia in college, a young woman who came from modest beginnings; the daughter of an immigrant farm worker, she grew up in a ramshackle "house" in a labor camp. After attending university and working for various causes, she got into immigration law. While she worked for a time in the corporate realm, she turned down highly paid job offers to help out in non-profits. She excelled in helping lost causes; at one point assisting an African refugee who faced death at the hands of Hutus if he returned to his country. Every attorneys said couldn't be helped and wouldn't take his case, but Patricia found a way to save this man. She now works helping abused women immigrants gain status. She is one of the most dedicated people I know, finding ways of helping those who have nowhere else to turn.

The way I see it, politics is really about creating a better place for people, making some kind of change, fixing what's broken. And these selfless folks are doing just that without having to win a fancy political title. When the election results come in tonight and the winner struts on the stage before the flashing cameras, give a silent thanks to those invisible people sitting offstage, the faceless "do gooders" accomplishing things big shot politicos only talk about. And then ask yourself, who really belongs on that stage?

So here's to the real leaders of California: Scott, Hana, Patty and all the others like them. This campaign of ideas is dedicated to them, the ones who didn't just talk about change, they actually went out and did something.

Thanks to all those who've supported me and thanks for reading.

Dan

End of the Line

2003-10-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hundreds of people with brooms descended on the state Capitol Sunday, hell bent on sweeping out the old guard to make way for their pure leader. These Arnie followers, apparently prompted by automated calls to show up with cleaning implements, exhibited their intense loyalty and did just that.

I found myself walking through this crowd of bellowing, broom equipped supporters, armed only with my Dan Feinstein for Governor sign. A heavy set man with a shaved head caught a glimpse of my sign and hollered, "You're a girlie man!" Others just turned away in disgust. One older lady looked puzzled and asked, "Dianne Feinstein?"

So what brought me to this point? You might ask.

After my short, but notable visit to Pleasanton the day before, I boarded the rebel candidates bus and started my journey to Sacramento. This would be the end of the line for the bus and my campaign. The number of candidates on the bus had dwindled to seven; Cheryl Bly-Chester, Robert Cullenbine, Warren Farrell, Diana Foss, Dick Lane, Chris Sproul and yours truly. There was also a news photographer, Pauline Lubens. It was an interesting time on the bus and later at dinner getting to know candidates I hadn't met before. The next day there was a breakfast picnic of sorts in a local park with about twenty candidates showing up for pancakes.

Cheryl Bly-Chester, the go-getter of the group, had secured a permit for the north side of the Capitol steps - opposite of where Arnie and his followers were set to rally. By the time we were ready to march to the Capitol, our twenty candidates had dissolved to maybe twelve. So we marched with our signs through the gauntlet of Arnie devotees, around to the vacant north side. And there we stayed, campaigning to an empty lawn.

One of the candidates, Gerold Gorman, brought his PA gear and a few candidates took the opportunity to practice making speeches and debating to no one in particular. At one point, a homeless gentleman seem interested, but I think he was more attracted by the "candidate candy" I was passing out.

A few renegade candidates went to the south side where all the action was, but the CHP tried to prevent them from displaying their signs. Even in this, the most public of public spaces, some signs were apparently more equal than others. The sea of Arnold signs could not be sullied. Darin Price and Dick Lane managed to sneak in and exercise their first amendment rights despite this edict.

During a lull in this non activity, I checked my messages. I had one - great. "This is former Vice President Al Gore..." It began. "Vote NO on the recall... and for insurance...vote for Lt. Governor Bustamante, who is located on your ballot under the letter B." Thanks, Al.

The Arnie machine rolled in, did its usual act - with the new broom gimmick, "give me the broom, give it to me NOW!" - then quickly rolled back out. There wasn't much going on after that. Cheryl and Jon Zellhoefer still gamely tried to campaign to the stragglers coming by the north side, but the show was pretty much over. Earlier, William Vaughn and I helped take the candidate signs off the rebel bus before it took off. The bus was heading home and had to be put back in order. A documentary cameraman caught us pulling the signs off for a few minutes, then put his camera down. "That's kind of sad." He said.

And so it ended. This first experiment in true citizen democracy may not have ignited the popular sentiment like automated calls to broom wielders, but I guess it did showcase a few capable regular folks out there willing to run. I caught a ride out of town with Chris and Diana, and as we passed the north side of the capitol - I looked out the window. I swear I saw Cheryl and Jon - still shaking hands, still campaigning.

Goon Squads and Button Police

2003-10-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

The last hectic days of campaigning - or more aptly - campaign observing, have kept me from my true task, the fine art of blogging. This is one of the last entries of the Feinstein Campaign Report and I have much to write about in the time left. All the churning recall activity of the past weeks has culminated in a few days of high emotion and low politics. So there's plenty to report.

On Saturday, I managed to reconnoiter with the Candidate Coalition bus at the Pleansanton Fairgrounds, where it had followed Arnie's caravan of doom. The "minor" candidate's bus had a good run of media attention throughout the trip and this was the next to last stop. I planned to join the other candidates on the final leg of their journey to Sacramento.

It took me some time to find the bus. As I drove around seeing the familiar "Arnold" signs plastered on every available fence, a media filled "Predator" bus lumbered by, so I knew I was close. After a phone call to fellow candidate Diana Foss on the rebel bus, I zeroed in on the target. The parking lot was nearly full as people streamed into the fairgrounds. Happy, freshly scrubbed kids and beefy guys in T-Shirts walked in briskly to see their new leader. I tried to blend into the crowd.

As I approached the entrance to the venue, I saw a few of my fellow candidates stopped at the checkpoint. Someone asked if it was true they couldn't bring their signs in. "Wow, you're the smartest man here" The grinning gatekeeper said mockingly. Other questions were met with the same "Wow, you're the smartest man here" line. This scruffy security goon, who was perhaps a high school graduate - didn't understand the irony of the situation. He was talking to an ex-CIA operative turned University professor, an MIT graduate and successful entrepreneur and a college instructor. Eventually the candidates tossed their signs and went in. Only candidate Dick Lane remained outside, holding his sign aloft.

I was wearing my Feinstein for Governor button and got turned away. As I walked back to my car to stash the offending button, I saw candidate William Vaughn. He laughed when he saw me walking by. "I told you so." He said. The soft-spoken engineer candidate stood outside with his signs and buttons, also denied entry. He's all about criticizing state government for bad structural engineering policy; his campaign the most apolitical of the bunch. He was relegated to the area near the Arnie hucksters selling "Hasta La Vista, Davis" Hats and "Govinator" T-Shirts.

When I returned for another attempt at entry, I saw members of "Code Pink" just outside, protesting Arnie's purported groping and assaultive behavior. They wore their trademark pink apparel. One had pink handprints on the rear of her jeans.

Now button free and ideologically pure, I made it past the grinning goon, through the metal detector and by the final round of flinty-eyed political police. About the same time, a couple of women came through the security perimeter, one wearing a pink blouse. "Did you just happen to wear that color today, ma'am?" Asked the suspicious rent-a-cop. The woman was puzzled by the question. Another, more senior, security man approached for a more in depth interview - perhaps a full body search. I moved on.

I made my way to the mass of Arnold signs and ardent sign holders. It was a mountain of bodies stacked around the main event. I kept to the periphery, hearing, though not seeing, the Governor-in-waiting himself. Soon after he began his performance, "Vee will terminate Gray Davis!" I saw some Code Pink women shouting about Arnie's groping behavior. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, because nearby Arnie fans began to shout: "Arnold, Arnold! Arnold!" to drown them out.

Teams of security, uniformed and undercover, rushed to quell the minor rebellion. I saw one pink woman yanked from her spot in the crowd and shoved into an area out of view. More security arrived, mumbling into walkie-talkies. A few TV cameras atop the media platform swung around to catch the action as energetic Arnie supporters got into women's faces with the ever present Arnold signs.

After a bit, I made my way outside the venue and lingered near the designated Code Pink area. People were already leaving the event, passing by the colorfully attired protestors. One Arnie fan, a woman in her forties, yelled, "You stupid bitches - I'd let Arnold grope me any day! He can grope me any time he wants!"

So ended my Pleasanton experience. Next stop, Sacramento....

.

The Shape of Things To Come

2003-10-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

Governor in waiting Arnie has already begun planning his grand coronation for fuhr - ah, I mean Governor - of CalEEfornia. In a Feinstein Campaign Report exclusive, my covert sources have leaked the transcript of a meeting between Arnie and his closest advisors: billionaire and tax advocate Varren Banquet, aging ex Secretary of State George Schlitz, and via the Spirit phone, the ghost of Joe Kennedy, king maker and patriarch of the Kennedy clan.

Arnie: Step one of my plan: I get Leni Riefenstahl to film the inauguration.

Varren: First of all, she's dead. Second of all, we save that kind of nonsense for the next term. No need to scare the voters right away.

Arnie: But I like her strong visual style.

Ghost of Joe: She's dead! Believe me, I know dead.

Arnie: If she's stiff, maybe she'll hold the camera more steady.

Varren: I think she was cremated - just like... well, you know.

Arnie: Okay, scratch that one. First step I cut the car tax, right?

Varren: Yeah good, then you just let the local counties reimpose it. The idiot voters will love you and direct their anger to local politicians. What could be better?

Arnie: Step two, tings will change - vee start the reign of terror!

Varren: Whoa, you're moving too fast...

Arnie: Vee arrest and execute Gray Davis?

Varren: No, knucklehead, you freeze spending.

Ghost of Joe: Isn't it already frozen?

Arnie: Vee freeze it even more. I played "Mr. Freeze" in zee Batman movie, I know about freezing.

Varren: He's right - it can always be more frozen. Hard as ice frozen.

Arnie: I'm shivering already, it's so frozen.

Schlitz: (waking up) What! Huh? Give me my blanket.

Varren: Good. Next, we get rid of prop 13 and really start to sock it to the evil middle class. They've been holding out on us.

Ghost of Joe: Don't Californians like prop 13?

Varren: Who cares, what are they gonna do, recall us?

(all laugh)

Another One Bites the Dust

2003-09-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

So Arianna is finally getting out of the race. About time, I say. What about her original plan to throw her support to Camejo if she polled lower than him? I guess that pesky ego of hers got in the way. I hear she's throwing her support to Davis. What a fraud. I knew it all along, the millionaire turned progressive is actually a shill for the corrupt career politician. Thanks for the memories, Arianna - time to drive off into the sunset in your gold plated Hybrid.

The election is just down the road, but for the non-millionaire candidates running behind the pack, we get to go the last few miles in style. We're taking the bus. The brainchild of candidate Jim Weir - the candidate bus will wind its way from San Diego to Sacramento, by way of the central valley and the Bay Area. It's supposed to shadow Arnie's bus route, or at least come close. And Jim will be following along in his Cessna, doing aerial reconnaissance.

It's not clear when or if I'll get on the bus, still working on logistics. But one thing's clear - the democracy ride will give the "minor" candidates a chance to meet the people in the small towns of the state and demonstrate the cooperation present in this disparate group of citizen candidates.

Recall Corporate Watch update:
In an earlier blog, I spoke about the online photo project set up by a company trying to sell digital cameras. The Candidate Camera site is now posting "the best" of these pictures for people to vote on. So out of all the one hundred plus candidates, the best pictures turned out to be from the "major" and wacky candidates. How interesting. You get to vote for Gary Coleman, Mary Carey, Arnie and few others. Like I figured, in the end, the corporate mischief makers will always turn the election into something silly. Hey, wasn't some famous photographer involved in this thing? I wonder what his cut was....

In the interest of good consumer reporting, here's my experience with the camera: it's a cute little thing, which makes pleasant chirping and whirring noises. In terms of functionality, it has some serious auto focus problems and no manual focus. And the anti-red eye feature is sort of hit and miss. An interesting anecdote, I submitted an image showing the red eye problem and even wrote about it in the picture's description. Oddly enough, when the picture appeared on the site, the red eyes were magically fixed! And there was no explanation about the picture being altered. Hmmmm. I guess they really are trying to sell cameras. Nice try, Gateway. By the way, I'll be sending the camera back.

Media Fair Play and The Dreaded Taco

2003-09-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

As we enter the final days of this nightmarish exercise in ego and hype, it's time to examine some lessons provided by the recall, from the perspective of the "minor" candidate. In a previous blog, (Sept 16), I looked at how the internet helped amplify the voices of us underfunded "tilting at windmill" types. Today let's look at role of the media and corporations in helping - or hindering - these same folks.

I've already sounded off about the Jay Leno ambush - dancing blue faced jesters and cheap insults designed to put the clown label on us little candidates. But not all in the media have been as devious as the man with the big chin and the small scruples. Some have actually shown fairness.

One of the first out of the chute was local TV station KRON - which offered a slot on their live morning show. My segment went smoothly, with a respectful interview of decent length, about 3-4 minutes. I saw a number a number of other candidates take advantage of this offer. It provided a good public service and proved a cool way to shock your co-workers, "Yeah, I was brushing my teeth watching and suddenly there you were on TV ...."

The next one to step up to the plate was the "California Channel," some kind of state government access operation. Usually their programming consists of state legislative proceedings - real snoozfests. But producer / host, John Hancock decided to try something unique: offer every candidate - big ones and little ones - a chance to answer very specific, very tough questions about state issues. It was a horrendous experience for me, but despite my poor performance, it was a fair deal - everyone got the same questions, in the same setting. And the crew was very pleasant. I did, however, have to travel to Sacramento - where I've never seen so many guys wearing bow ties on the street. That part was a bit chilling.

Infinity broadcasting, which owns radio stations all over the state, gave us all a one minute radio spot - to be played on some of their radio stations at non-specific odd hours. Not ideal, but hey, it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. And the Clear Channel stations gave us squat. So three cheers for Infinity. And I know mine played at least once, because some co-workers heard it and even repeated my slogan (I guess advertising does work).

Then a local television station, KTVU channel 2, allowed us all to tape a two minute spot. Of course, the "major" candidates got four minutes. This included Huffington - who's polling some pretty scant numbers these days, barely qualifying as "major." I would bet some of the more visible "minor" candidates would get the same numbers, if the poll takers ever bothered to ask about them. My spot plays at 11:00 pm on a Sunday - right when everyone is watching! Well, again, better than a poke in the eye....

So the responsible media types have done the right thing and in the process modeled how the media can participate in future clean elections. Surely, the minor inconveniences to these media outlets - who, by the way are using public airwaves - didn't put them out much. Such free access for candidates would go a long way towards making elections more about ideas, and less about big money. And it wouldn't cost taxpayers a cent. Something to think about.

Now onto the less responsible corporate entities:

Like a bad cold, the Taco Bell virus won't go away. I've gone into some detail about the "Taco Poll" before, now these corporate creepies have conjured another scheme to raise my hackles. This time it's an "online debate" to be presented on their trashy website. So they send me notification by express mail (with campaign style button included - oh joy), then, some overgrown cheerleader type named "Ashley" calls and leaves a perky message about the merits of the plan. She left her number and I, of course, phoned her back, wanting to get to the heart of the beast.

She was just as bubbly on the phone. Evil disguised with a smiling voice. After cutting through the crap, I finally determined the "online debate" is really a "guestbook" style presentation, where people leave comments and the candidate responds. Anyone who's seen such things on websites knows guestbooks = cranks. Every nut job with access to a keyboard will now be empowered to spew poorly worded hate missives. So some double digit job in Michigan makes a dumb comment and I'm supposed to spend my valuable time responding? Like I got nothing better to do. Sure, I'm only working 50 + hours a week and working on my campaign in my off hours - I got nothing but time.

It's bound to be yet another sinister corporate trick to make fools of us, but since since I've already debased myself on Leno, I got nothing to lose. Except maybe my marbles. Where do I get me one of them Burrito Stuffed Grilled thingees? Then I'll need my Official Chewy Recall mints afterwards. Wait, I'll take a picture of the whole thing with my Candidate Camera....

The Forgotten Man

2003-09-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

On October 7, you'll have important decisions to make - yes or no on the recall and who, if anyone, in the long list of candidates to support. While there are many concerns about the election, be thankful you can vote at all. When you walk into the voting booth, I want you to remember the name Charles Li. Mr. Li is a Californian who won't be voting that day. He won't be voting, because he sits in a Chinese prison.

Charles Li, a naturalized American citizen from Menlo Park, visited Mainland China about nine months ago. Mr. Li apparently ran afoul of the authorities because he's a practitioner of Falun Gong. As near as I can tell, Falun Gong involves meditating and thinking good thoughts. For some reason, good thoughts are threatening to the despots across the sea and they've been cracking down on anyone who follows this practice.

While avaricious American companies continue to trade with China, making easy millions selling cheap crap at Walmart, and George Bush is all grins and giggles with Chinese leaders, the forgotten man from Menlo Park continues to wait for help. And what of our other elected leaders, you might ask? Surely they'll help an American unjustly imprisoned in a foreign gulag? Think again. While there are some like Tom Lantos who've supported Li, others like the Senator who shares my last name, have been strangely silent. Maybe the silence isn't so strange given her personal connections to the lucrative Chinese trade.

Let me say this: she has brought shame to the Feinstein name. Just so everyone knows, Dianne acquired the name through marriage to a fellow who has long since passed on. Perhaps she could have respected the name a little more before taking her benign approach towards an oppressive dictatorship. The name came into this country from my great grandfather, Abraham, who was forced to flee another totalitarian regime many years ago - one that also killed and imprisoned people for their beliefs.

This subject may at first seem distant from the concerns of California and the recall, but I think it has real significance. It shows the importance of democracy, however messy; where too many choices are better than no choice at all. It also shows how corrupted our political process has become, when even foreign dictatorships can buy and sell our elected "representatives."

Maybe there will come a day when honest citizens can run and be elected to serve the people, untainted by big money interests. Maybe the day will come when Americans won't be left in foreign prisons because craven politicians have sold their principles for a few lousy bucks. And maybe one day, the forgotten political prisoners in China will be set free.

Until that time, all we can do is use our vote and try to make the right choice. If you don't think what you do on October 7th makes a difference, just remember Charles Li - remember the forgotten man.

Where's Leno When You Need Him?

2003-09-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

Wednesday's "Superbowl of debates" was more like a cocktail party with bad guests and no drinks. In the much anticipated debate with "all" the candidates, we finally got to see Arnie join the festivities on the small screen. And what a useless spectacle it was. The format was an interesting one - the questions, known in advance, were hurled to the guests, who hashed them out in an annoying contest of interruption and insult. Occasionally, the flustered host would attempt to break up the resulting squabbles, but mainly the blowhards got the last word.

McClintock and Camejo fared the best - my assessment of them didn't change much from the first debate. They both clearly believe in their respective ideologies and did a good job of presenting them. Camejo was a bit more single note this time, harping on the "rich pay fewer taxes" theme to the exclusion of his other ideas. McClintock, was concise, got into specifics and was the only one who seemed to know what the hell he was talking about in terms of state government. Of course neither one has a ghost of a chance of winning because Californians don't like their politics straight.

In terms of the watered down candidates, they seemed to be acting out roles - including, strangely enough, Bustamante. I actually saw Bustamante just three days ago in San Jose. There, casual in shirt sleeves in front of a largely Latino audience, he spoke convincingly about his modest background and addressed issues with apparent ease. He didn't get into many specifics, but he conveyed what I took to be the real Cruz. And Cruz didn't seem to be such a bad guy.

Seeing him in tonight's debate was a different story. It looks as if he was coached to act "Gubernatorial" or statesman like. But the act came off looking a little arrogant and lacking fire. Several times Bustamante tried to say Arnold didn't know much - a good tactic - but he couldn't make it stick, as he seemed a little iffy on specifics himself.

Huffington apparently thought she was on "Crossfire" - using all her TV commentator skills to jab at her opponents. Something about the way she smirkingly did it told me all I needed to know. She's like the American remake of a good European movie - with the original movie (Camejo) playing on the next screen. Sure, she can take the Green party line and give it a little more pizzazz and Hollywood zest, but she lacks authenticity. If she really wanted to affect the system, she'd give her money to Camejo and let him run with it. Or even young Georgy Russell. But she wouldn't do that because Huffington's not about advancing the issues, she's about advancing her ego.

Arnie came out and did his normal routine. He was at his best when joking and delivering his rehearsed quips. But the joking bit only served to make him look superficial next to the serious McClintock. Arnie is a perfect match for Huffington; both appeared to enjoy the verbal jousting. But I sense the regular people of California didn't laugh much watching the two millionaires fake fighting each other on TV - the real people who are unemployed, the real people who can't afford to attend university, the real people who, on Oct 7, will cast their votes for one of these clowns.

Next time, just hire Leno to host the damn thing and add circus music. Now that's entertainment....

The Joke's On Us

2003-09-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

I suppose one day in the distant future, some cultural anthropologist will come upon the record of the Tonight Show from September 22, 2003 and wonder if it marked a weird merging of burlesque and politics or perhaps the emergence of a new Dadaist art movement.

As a participant in this tragicomedy, it's hard for me to gain perspective on it. I was at once enthralled and repulsed - as one might be at say, the collapse of a skyscraper.

But let's start at the beginning. This whole episode started soon after the candidates for the recall were certified. In those early days, when campaign mail was still a novelty, we all received an invitation. Printed on heavy stock, it read "...you are cordially invited to be in the audience of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno...." And this was about all the information we got. Be in the audience? As savvy media consumers, most of us figured the show would poke a little fun at the candidates. But we didn't have a clue what really awaited us....

Zip forward to the day of the show. After being forced to queue for twenty minutes in the blazing Burbank sun, and passing through three Baghdad-like checkpoints, we were allowed into the air-conditioned NBC facilities with our guests. There, we recovered from the heat exhaustion with complimentary beverages, until some smartly dressed NBC cadres marched in and divided us Auschwitz style - separating the fit from the expendable. Candidates were put on one side of the room and guests on the other. Car keys were furtively passed and hasty good-byes exchanged - so much for bringing a guest.

We were then herded into a hall where a squat, sweating guard kept us at bay until a further selection was made. Names were called out and those summoned came forward. "What's this all about?" Someone asked. Leno's well-coifed minions weren't answering. The five or so "select" candidates were ushered outside, with the rest of us following, passing a phalanx of penned in shutterbugs, lenses wide and leering. Some candidates stopped to pose, others waved, some shuffled by quickly. "Wave!" One of the ubiquitous NBC women chirped helpfully, "The cameras are over there, wave!"

We filed into the theater in front of the stage, strangely small and cheap looking - not the picture you get watching at home. We were directed by impatient ushers into our seats, then confronted by snarling guards admonishing, "no pictures!" This, even as the media swarmed in for a few minutes of frenzied picture snapping. I guess circus freaks aren't supposed to take pictures, they're only allowed to pose and be freaky. Leading a minor picture rebellion, Iris Adam convinced me to take out my camera and capture a few illegal photos of the proceedings.

After the media left and we received our instruction in how to be a good audience, the abuse - er, show - began. Leno went into a predictable recall filled monologue, ending with a zany segment where the five earlier selected candidates were shown on camera and insulted "humorously." The candidates chosen didn't seem to mind this "fun." Others, like yours truly, found it a tad disturbing - especially with the circus music playing during the segment. Did they somehow tap into my nightmares?

Then a little fun from the candidates. Just as Leno began move into the interview segment, one of the candidates, Bill Tsangares, began a one-man protest / art piece. With his head covered in some kind of rubber mask, he shouted, "Equal time! Equal time" while hurling crisp one and two dollar bills all around him. With the proceedings effectively stopped, Leno, now devoid of humor, shouted back: "This IS equal time!" Thus effectively completing the absurdist point / counter point art installation about equal time on TV - exhibited in the hallowed halls of media fluff.

After the art installation was moved by security to the exterior of the building, and Gary Coleman finished snatching all the bills he could grab, saying, "Hey, this is real money, guys...." the show continued. Leno interviewed actor Robert Downey Jr. about his troubles with substance abuse. Mr. Downey seemed in high spirits, exhibiting a strangely up tempo, jittery appearance - perhaps the result of too much caffeine. Leno, meanwhile, seemed especially keen on probing the minutiae of Mr. Downey's drug affliction, despite the obvious discomfort it caused the actor - there to tout some motion picture.

There was also a comedian - who managed to do her act without any cheap shots at the candidates, kind of out of place with the low brow hijinks happening around her. But this was a short respite, more "fun" was to come.

As if they really tapped in to my nightmares, some fellows in shiny blue faces came out and wanted the candidates to play a kind of "Simon says" game, accompanied by loud music. If I had been on the sort of drugs Mr. Downey used to enjoy, maybe it would have made sense, but this was as far from addressing the issues of our state as one could get. It was at this point I regretted not joining the earlier protest to make my escape.

Maybe if a group is invited to be part of a staged burlesque, it might be polite to let the participants in on the gag. The manner in which we were suckered into this media ambush suggests a level of disdain and mean spiritedness one wouldn't expect from the light entertainment crowd. Mr. Tsangares' efforts may have made some uncomfortable, but at least he didn't humiliate individuals to get his point across. The same can't be said for Mr. Leno's show.

But that, I guess, is show business.

The Art of Politics

2003-09-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

Over my desk is a poster from WWI depicting a somber looking cemetery with the words: "They GAVE their lives, will you LEND your savings?" This is an example of the persuasive pitches made during WWI and WWII for "war bonds," a tool for raising huge sums of money during the world wars. Citizens in those days were convinced to lay down their money because they knew it was for the common good. And a little guilt trip like the above, helped in the convincing.

I know the problems with the state can't be compared to war, but the current financial crisis does demand serious solutions. Way back when, the leaders had the common sense to encourage the "we're all in this together" attitude. These days, with California's budget problems, all we see are droopy-faced bureaucrats gloomily describing the painful taxes they'll have to impose on us. It's more of a "it's your problem - pay up" message.

Sure, they may be right in terms of the numbers, but they lack an understanding of the human element. If some guy approaches me on the street aggressively demanding money, I'm unlikely to give him a dime, but if one of my friends is in trouble and needs to borrow a few bucks, that's a different story.

This is where my plan comes in. We use voluntarily increased tax payments to help the people of the state - in a sense our friends and neighbors in trouble. Those who can afford it, pay more now. And it's not a gift, there's a pay back later on, once the economy is better. It's a simple idea, but explaining it usually results in a lot of blank stares or expressions of derision. "It'll never work." People say, "No one will pay more taxes - everyone hates taxes."

This is because detached, frightened politicians, like Gray, have seen the people as walking dollar signs ready to be plucked. People don't like to be compelled to pay up every time - especially by the "leaders" who got us into this mess to begin with. So how do we turn the situation around?

First of all, we need to see a commitment at the top to cut the fat. That's why I propose the Governor, Lt. Governor, members of the cabinet and other top executives take a voluntary 20% pay cut. And then start cutting all the dumb political appointment jobs - like most commissioners and agency heads. Plus create a "whistle blower" program to find areas of waste and fraud. If the public sees these good faith efforts, they'll realize the people on top are serious. And of course, a new Governor wouldn't hurt either....

It's all about trusting the people - not dictating to them, or treating them like kids. Tell the people the truth and give them the opportunity to help out. We see how much money is being thrown around in this campaign - visit recall watch and look at all the individuals donating money. The money is out there, we just need the proper approach to get it.

Perhaps for all those people who'll feel sorry for Gray after he loses his office, a poster featuring him with the following: "He GAVE his political career, will you LEND your savings?"

All the News That Fit To Spin

2003-09-16T13:06:00.000-07:00

I noticed the LA Times finally published something from one of the lower tier candidates. In a selfless gesture of fair play, they finally fulfilled the highest obligation of their profession and gave voice to the voiceless. They published an op-ed piece by porn star Mary Carey.

Now the issue Ms. Carey addresses is legit; the CBA limiting the debates to only those "important" candidates the CBA feels are suitable for public display. But by letting an adult video performer deliver the concerns of the underdog candidates, they belittle the entire argument. Yet another, not so subtle, attempt by these Hearstian manipulators to bend public opinion.

It's as if they interviewed Monica Lewinsky on the relative merits of Gray's job performance. Sure, she might make a few good points, but I wonder what impression the reader would be left with?

And this brings up another issue: the treatment of the female candidates in this election. They could have talked to Iris Adams, or Cheryl Bly-Chester, both articulate, intelligent and capable women. I've spoken to them and they're among the most qualified of the lesser known candidates. But the LA Times decided to paint the female citizen candidates with a porno brush.

And in the same vein, it's interesting to note how young software engineer Georgy Russell has been covered. While her issue statements are at least as cogent as say, Arianna's, the only issue leering male reporters seem fixated on, is female undergarments. Without being sexualized, it seems, the women candidates just aren't interesting.

Unless of course they're millionaires like Arianna, then they get the same pass the guy millionaires get.

Now listen, don't think I'm one of those whining no names decrying the lack of media attention. As lower tier candidates, we could have done a much better job campaigning and giving the reporters something real to cover. But...the ease with which the publishers decided to delegitimize the less publicized candidates - especially women - speaks volumes.

Maybe it's not ideological. It could just be a sign of differing cultural influences. Perhaps the citizen candidates took "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" to heart, while the publishers of the LA Times were more taken with "Debbie Does Dallas."

2003-09-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

The news is all abuzz with the recent decision to postpone the election until March. While we wait for the Supreme Court to hear the case - or not - we can imagine we're in the eye of a political storm. During this lull in the recall, it might be instructive to look at some lessons we can draw from this experiment in expanded democracy.

The Computer Mouse That Roared

There have been a number of articles about the candidates use of computers in the recall. Michael Falcone wrote the first one for the NY Times. In this article, I gave the following quote: "Say this whole thing had happened in 1971; how would a regular person have gotten his message out? There would have been no way."

Back then, information campaigns were restricted to mimeographed pamphlets, posters, or maybe early portapak video equipment. And distribution was quite limited. If you employed guerilla theater tactics, you might get some press attention. But if you got on the evening news, you wouldn't be able to record it, because there were no VCRs. Reaching a big audience was limited to the well monied elite.

Nowadays, the internet has allowed regular folks to compete on a level playing field with the big guys. With a click of the mouse, a Republican can move from Arnie's site to Cheryl Bly-Chester's site . A Democrat can click from Cruz's site to Georgy Russell's site - or blog for that matter. Same screen, same potential audience.

And in addition to the relatively static storefront of the website, we have the dynamic weblog. Like posting your pamphlet on every telephone pole in front of every house in the state. To be able to write something every day and have anyone with a computer see it - now that's power. To quote a dusty old phrase heard in '71, it's "all power to the people."

In 1953, the great journalist Edward R. Murrow gave a speech about the new medium of television:

"This instrument can teach, it can illuminate, and yes it can inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is nothing but wires and lights in a box...."

The same yardstick can now be applied to the internet. What would Mr. Murrow think of the regular folks coaxing these "wires and lights" to their full potential?

The amateur candidates of this recall election, with their ideas and drive and not much else, used the internet as a democratizing tool. In the best American tradition, they improvised, they pushed the limits and made it work. The most interesting websites and blogs were from citizen candidates. The fully polished, big money candidates had sites with a cold corporate feel and didn't have a clue about being real in a blog.

In Arnie's last flick, "T3, Rise of the Machines," computers enslave and imperil the humans. In the reality beyond the silver screen, humans have harnessed the power of computers to better humanity. Maybe even to defeat Arnie. It's not about the technology, it's about the real people behind the computer.

In fact, if you look closely at the credits of T3, you might notice the name of one such person. One who helped build the movie fantasy, and is now helping to build the political reality.

_____________________________________________________________

(here's the latest report from the cockroach with a penchant for prose, Arty)

boss i went
to interview your fish ginger
she as you know is
a green
like the fungus you
still need to clean from her
tank

greetings said i
i hope things are
going swimmingly
for you

i d invite you in
said she
but my decor is too watered down
for your dry humor

i ll take a plunge
into the murky recall
voting pool said i
you voted nader in the
last election
a nadir for elections
some democrats might say

i elect to vote
my conscience
said she

what about the recall
i asked
will you again cast your vote
into the wind
instead of for the win

if we only vote for those
who will win
said she
maybe we all lose
tis clear to me
even from inside
my clouded tank

boss she said it all
more later
leave the computer on
more snacks

arty

2003-09-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

The Big Poll Lie

So another poll was released by the LA Times which gives a glimpse into the horse race so far. I suppose the results would be valid if there were only six people running. But I recently got my voter guide and it has around twelve pages of candidate statements. And I've seen the ballots - and while I may be bad at math - I counted over a hundred candidates.

The Times does concede determining who will vote is not an exact science saying "the unprecedented nature of the recall makes it even more difficult this time." Yeah, you bet. And real voters in real voting booths will have the entire 132 to choose from. Much different than a phone poll where the respondent is spoon fed the six media favorites.

Dan Weintraub has an interesting piece about a lot of voter opinion "flying below the traditional radar." Scroll down to "The extra electorate."

The Washington Post may have ignored my efforts in their piece on candidate blogs, but the more tuned in and astute Ken Goldstein hasn't. See the Tale of Two Feinsteins

And now a little change of pace....

What's Bugging Me

I need to relate a strange story. Last night, in between nightmares about unsolicited boxes of candy, weird political tacos and endless email, I awoke to the sound of typing. Did I just imagine it? Through crusty eyes, I saw the familiar bluish glow from my computer - I must have left it on. Then I heard the typing again: Tap, tap....tap...tap, tap - hunt and peck style. "What the...?" I thought, "Do I have a ghost?"

Then I saw it....an insect on the keyboard, jumping up on down on the keys with great purpose. I approached cautiously, shoe in hand. As I got close enough to smash the offending bug, I saw the following words on the screen:

expression is the need of my soul
i am a direct desendant of archy
the cockroach ghost writer friend
of don marquis
in the spirit of the past
i tap into great great grandfather s work
you can call me arty

Now I wasn't pleased with the idea of a cockroach in my apartment, but this one seemed to have more merit than the average pest. So I put the shoe down and watched the little guy jump about the keyboard on my Mac, hammering out more prose:

recall election is just
a symptom of noticeable discontent
I saw it with the ants who used
to live in your apt
the queen ant you stepped on
recall by shoe
then the ants tried to vote for
the ordinary ant workers
oth ers wanted another queen
and had more honey
the little guy got the boot

I stopped the bug here and introduced myself. We talked about the "Archy and Mehitabel" tales he referenced, concerning a poet cockroach, Archy, and his feline cohort Mehitabel. I vaguely remember reading some of these stories when I was younger. I wasn't totally convinced Arty was the direct descendant of Archy, but he did at least have the ability to type - more or less. His grammer and punctuation, however were atrocious. He blamed it on the difficulties of keyboard navigation, saying he had to watch out for full body carpal tunnel syndrome. I agreed to employ him now and again as a guest commentator, then went back to bed.

When I woke up this morning, I noticed Arty ate almost a full box of the "Official Chewy Mint of the Recall Election." Even talented roaches still revert to nature I suppose. But he did leave me the following:

boss i noticed you
had a puzzled expression
when i mentioned my great great grandfather
have some bites of his wisdom
more filling than recall mints:

____________
"insects have
their own point
of view about
civilization a man
thinks he amounts
to a great deal
but to a
flea or a
mosquito a
human being is
merely something
good to eat"

"if you get gloomy just
take an hour off and sit
and think how
much better this world
is than hell
of course it won t cheer
you up much if
you expect to go there"

"boss the other day
i heard an
ant conversing
with a flea
small talk i said
disgustedly
and went away
from there"
______________

boss now you know
where i get my appetite
more later after I digest
the recall news and what you left in garbage
leave computer on
more mints

arty

Dedicated to Don Marquis, creator "Archy and Mehitabel" - born July 29, 1878
From the Dan Feinstein for Governor Campaign - born July 29, 2003

2003-09-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

It has been brought to my attention the recent offerings from the Feinstein Campaign Report have been altogether too serious and lacking in levity. "Where's the funny Dan?" People ask. And, "You're really bumming me out man, Sharon Davis' blog is much more effervescent."

Ouch. This last one really hurt. To hear I've lost effervescence, is disheartening. To insure my eight readers are appropriately entertained, I've lightened things up with a piece I call:

Picking up Litter Along the Information Superhighway

Like all the other candidates, I've been receiving a huge - and I mean huge - amount of candidate junk mail, both snail and email varieties. Questionnaires, political pitches, cranks touting some issue, companies selling ads in obscure publications, on and on. I can barely find the familiar smut and Viagra spam anymore with all this candidate clutter.

The other day I got an email from the "Lawyers for Artists Coalition" saying they were reducing their rates for a statement published in their publication. Only $250 for 250 words - such a deal! First of all, who in the hell are "Lawyers for Artists?" And why would I pay good money to state anything to them? Bizarre. Well imagine my surprise when this was followed up by an email from "Microbiologists for Knitting consortium" and a pitch from the "Plumbers for Creative Writing Alliance."

Then of course there are the Nigerian money scam emails asking for help to get some money and you'll get a cut, etc...you know the deal. Recently, I got some weird variation on this scheme from a group calling itself the "California Democratic Party" inviting me to some "endorsement convention" in LA. Yeah, right... I read on and, uh huh - you have to send them $100 to "register." No dice, pal - I'm not falling for that one. Sheesh.

And then yesterday I get this package from a mysterious "Jennifer Norton" in New York. First thought, 'Hey, I didn't order anything, what the...?' I'm immediately suspicious because the name is clearly a pseudonym. I shake it and it makes a disagreeable rattling noise. Shrapnel? Taking no chances, I hide behind the Fridgidaire door and poke the sinister box with a broom handle. Nothing. I hit it with great force. Still nothing. Then take it to my bomb sniffing goldfish Ginger. She registers nothing,but I do note a peculiar look on her face. I'm thinking the best course of action is to hurl it into the ocean and let the Coast Guard deal with it.

Before I do this, I check out fellow candidate Diana Foss' latest blog always a source of clear headed thinking. There I learn she too has received a similar package and it's just candy. Whew! I open the box and yes, it's some dumb promotion from a candy company known for annoying commercials. It includes some crap about the candy being the "official Chewy Mint of the California Recall Election." What, are they getting marketing advice from Taco Bell now?

Dear Chewy Mint mavens,

The next time you want to send me some delicious treats, don't be so mysterious about it. Now every time I see your damn candy, my heart starts beating like a rabbit. You'll note I've written this letter in crayon and have enclosed it in a soiled box tied with string - see how it feels?

Thanks for nothing.

Your pal,

Dan Feinstein
California Gubernatorial Candidate
(and candy hater)

Here's a questionnaire for my readership. In keeping with the spirit of the recall, I have devised a two part ballot:

Question one
Should I continue with the blog after Oct 7?

Question two
In the event question one passes, pick a post election blog name:

- Conversations With a Potted Plant
- The Feinstein Report
- The (not Dianne) Feinstein Report
- The New Governor Sucks and Here's Why
- Why Am I Doing This?
- The Ex Candidate Report
_ Other....

Cast your votes by email to dan@feinsteinforgov.com - before October 7th.

And if you include a mailing address, I'll send you a bumper sticker and/or campaign button FREE! Specify English or Spanish.

2003-09-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

Fanfare for the Common Candidate

Some of you may be familiar with Aaron Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" a musical piece inspired by the soldiers of WWII. It was a tribute to the dignity of ordinary Americans - people like you and me. It could also apply to the ordinary people running in the recall.

Lately though, "Fanfare for the Common Man" is being replaced by the strains of festive clown music. The tilt of the coverage on the underdog candidates is leaning towards the silly and insulting. Bored with the obvious clowns; the aging child star, porn king etc., the news outlets are turning their sights on us ordinary folks.

So I get a call from a reporter, wanting to know what special thing I'll be doing on election night. Clearly, kind of a fluff piece, okay. So I mention I'll probably go to a bar with some friends and then I get: "So are you a beer guy, or a whisky guy?" And I'm thinking, this isn't why I ran - if I'm going to be quoted, can it be about my candidacy? The reporter was pleasant enough and just doing her job, I know - but come on.

Then there was the persistent LA Times photographer doing the pictorial spread on the candidates - with a twist. In order to be photographed, we had to bring a little prop or knick knack to help define our personality. Something cute and gimmicky: Surf board, broom, whatever. You know, fun stuff! Without a prop, the photographer said, it would just be a bunch of people in suits - boring. After all, was the subtext, a clown in a suit is no fun. Somehow, I don't envision Tom McClintock standing there grinning, holding some goofy prop.

And the latest foray into "fun" coverage of the citizen candidates - a questionnaire sent out by a columnist for the SF Chronicle asking "What was your wildest date?" "What's your recurring dream?" "What is your guilty pleasure?" For a brief moment, I was tempted to play along, because I like jokes. But my candidacy is not a joke. I've used humor and satire in this blog to lampoon the big guys, not to denigrate my candidacy or the efforts of my fellow citizen candidates. These sorts of belittling exercises are designed put clown make up on us. Sorry, but I didn't shell out $3500 to be a clown.

I don't see the problem coming from reporters - good people just trying to do their job. The reporters I've talked to have been thoughtful, engaged and have asked incisive questions. I figure the problem has more to do with those at the tiller - the ones controlling let's say, the "direction" of these stories.

Here's a question for these folks: What interests are served by attacking ordinary people trying to break into the political system? The message you're sending to the regular folks - who buy your papers and watch your TV news - is become involved in politics at your peril. Do so, and you'll be made the fool, so just shut up and watch your sitcoms.

I suppose this is what some at the top, the career politicians and their 'familiars' want. But without citizen involvement in the political process, we'll have a system where the political elite dictates to an ever more disconnected and angry population of "clowns."

2003-09-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

My liver favors yOU

There are these people called the Berbers who live in Morocco. Once a year the unwedded Berbers travel from all over to meet in a happening spot called Imilchil, so reports yesterday's Wall Street Journal. There, a three day dating ritual of display and assessment takes place. The marriageable women walk among the teeming crowds and receive offers of affection from a variety of marriage minded men. If a fellow takes a liking to a young lady, he might woo her with "You have captured my liver." Which apparently is a good thing.

The ritual taking place in Morocco is not entirely dissimilar to what we're seeing in the recall. Like the young women walking about the marketplace of Imilchil, the California voters are being wooed by many potential suitors - 132 at last reckoning. With centuries of tradition behind them, what can we learn from the Berber women of Imilchil?

First off, they don't look at just one or two men, even if one claims his liver has been captured. The women look at many gents, a wide variety. In this recall, we're only getting to judge a few suitors - the sleazy types with the old pick up lines - the rest are shielded from view, perhaps by the jealous competition. The women in Imilchil wouldn't stand for that and neither should we.

In the latest Field poll We see something interesting, the people choosing "Other" or "Undecided" add up to some pretty impressive percentages. Who are these Other or Undecideds? People tired of the usual choices, people who maybe don't vote usually, in short, the people looking for something different - call them OUs. Everyone talks about Cruz's 32% or Arnie's 27% but not about the OU number of 20%.

Broken down along party lines, we see some startling figures: 24% of the Democrats are OUs, 25% Republican and among the Non-partisans, a whopping 43% are in the mysterious OU category.

Why haven't we heard this before? Like the lesser known candidates hidden from view, the OUs don't get a mention. I say recognize the independent state of the OUs and release the citizen candidates from their exile. The article about the Berber dating ritual talks about the origin of the practice: Legend tells of a young couple who were prevented from marrying by their families - with a sad Shakespearean ending. Even though Berber society favors arranged marriages, after this tragedy, they created the three day ritual for those wanting to find their own mates.

In a sense, the voters have been in an arranged marriage with the major political party and millionaire candidates. And what an unhappy union it has been. Maybe if the two overlooked groups; the citizen candidates and the OUs, can be brought together, we'll have a more perfect union. My liver tells me it will.

Here's an article in the NY Times written by Michael Falcone about campaign blogs - with a minor mention of me.

2003-09-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

The California Experience

I was recently interviewed by a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle - here's the article by Carl Nolte.

The article speaks about my "real life" experience and how it relates to my qualifications for public office. This brings up a question: In what way does a person's background affect their understanding of the issues?

What difference does it make if say, one candidate was raised as a child of privilege, sent to Stanford by his parents, and only had political jobs his adult life? Does it make a difference if a candidate was born and raised in another country and came to the US as an entertainer? What about a candidate who came from a modest background in an agricultural community, but fled to the seamy world of politics, where he's lived comfortably ever since?

All these candidates have interesting and unique backgrounds. They're accomplished people who caught some lucky breaks and exploited them. But how many of these people know what it's like to have a real job, be educated in the California public education system, and understand the day to day realities of life known to the average Californian; housing, commuting, schools, tolls, public transit, jobs, speeding tickets, taxes?

Let's get to the nuts and bolts and pick an issue - say education. Who among the three leading contenders knows what it's like to go to a rotten, underfunded, dangerous elementary school? Well I do. Photo opportunities with inner city kids doesn't give you the gut wrenching experience of trying to get to school without being attacked. Reading a report on K-12 reform doesn't give you the experience of a poverty ridden school where even the teachers are scared and the kids don't have enough to eat at lunch.

And who, among the top three, know anything about public higher education? Sure, Arnie attended some Community College. Cruz went to Fresno State for awhile, then got distracted by politics (completing his degree only recently). And Gray as mentioned, got his free pass to $tanford - hardly the foundation for a real understanding of the state's higher education system. Did any of them go through the process of paying for their education themselves? I certainly have. I know fee hikes caused students to quit school, affecting those most in need of bettering their place in society; poor Latinos and African Americans. These were the people I worked with in fighting fee hikes at San Jose State.

During this time, I had a conversation with a Stanford grad about working and going to school at the same time. He was genuinely puzzled by the concept. "Why not just go to school full time?" He asked. Well let me answer him here - hey smart guy, it's because I had to, we don't all get a free ride. It's easy for a politician to make big changes with the stroke of a pen, but it's not so easy to understand the real life consequences. The Stanford grad didn't get it. Does Gray? Does Cruz? Arnie?

Am I playing class warfare? No. Certainly Mr. Bustamante came from a very humble background before being absorbed into big time politics. It's more about applying the word "experience" correctly. Everyday experience and common sense is what's missing in Sacramento. We've left policy making in the hands of the politically experienced - but the reality inexperienced - for too long. It's time the life experienced people begin to shepherd the decision making process.

Life looks a little different from the tinted windows of a limo - the world has a different hue when you're sitting in a high backed leather chair in a wood paneled office. And understanding the everyday indignities of life faced by ordinary people is hard to imagine when you're facing adoring fans and ten million dollar paychecks.

Maybe the regular folks will think about this before casting their vote. The political elite certainly won't think much about the regular folks once they get into office.

My experience tells me that much.

2003-09-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Poor Candidate's Almanac
Monday, Sept. 8, 2003

This is the 22nd time I've appeared in this blog to comment on the current conditions and chalk out what may soon come to pass in this peculiar political aberration known as the recall.

It's been getting darker earlier, telling us the seasons are changing and soon fall will be upon us. Time to plant some ideas for the next spring's political harvest.

This current recall season started with an early spring and a bumper crop of new candidates trying to compete with the entrenched, political weeds. We're starting to see the season change and with it an onslaught of attacks by the dreaded pests of traditional politics, the swarming personal attack. Just today; Arnie is a racist according to some old work out buddies, Gray is a racist for making fun of Arnie's accent, Cruz attacks Arnie for being from Planet Hollywood and not being "one of us." Arnie's camp shoots back, saying Cruz uses "race-based politics."

These pests will last till early October, when, un fortunately, they'll be replaced with a more virulent variety, the "dreaded surprise scandal." Expect these to appear just before Oct 7. This could spoil some candidates before the election harvest, so pick early.
_______________________

Mars is predominant in the sky - shining brightest in the next few days - three times brighter than Jupiter. It is almost as bright as the hypocrisy coming from Arnie in his sudden burst of special interest money gathering. Previously, this candidate "of the people" pledged not to take any special interest money. He has now eclipsed that promise to actively solicit money from land developers and big agricultural interests. Meanwhile, Jupiter emerges in the predawn eastern sky and shows above Mercury after the 21st; the two are strikingly joined by the Gray's massive orbiting ego on the 24th .
_______________________

The weather for the week begins with a giant Cruz cloud formation settling in the Central Valley to pepper the population with small snow jobs. This is a welcome change for the population, who has been through a dry spell. After Oct 7, expect the clouds to dry up again.
________________________

Fall begins with the autumnal equinox on the 23rd, at 6:47 a.m. just a day before the debate featuring "all" the candidates. That is, if your definition of "all" is millionaires and influence peddling career politicians - with the occasional Green guy thrown in for fun.
_______________________

Borrowing from a writer of an older almanac:

"Besides the usual Things expected in an Almanack, I hope the profess'd Teachers of Mankind will excuse my scattering here and there some instructive Hints...."

"He's a Fool that cannot conceal his Wisdom."
(Arnie)

"Half the Truth is often a great Lie."
(Cruz)

"Vice knows she's ugly, so puts on her Mask."
(Indian Gambling Tribes)

"Fools multiply folly."
(Gray)

"A light purse is a heavy Curse."
(any lesser-know candidate)

2003-09-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Cloud Formations

Today was a beautiful day, so I feel I should write about cloud formations. You know when you look up, and see the white, billowy clouds forming pictures - look, there's a cat...ahhh. There's a rabbit...oooh and over there - it looks like a giant campaign contribution to Cruz from the Indian Gaming Tribes...ahhh. Oh wait, it's changing...it's looks like it's becoming a contribution to the anti prop 54 campaign. Oooh.

Today, Cruz declared he has "decided to resolve the questions raised by the Republicans about my campaign finances" by moving suspect Indian gambling money to the No on Prop 54 (racial privacy initiative) campaign.

So Cruz says Republicans raised questions about his campaign finances. Here's a quote describing Cruz's clever use of loopholes, "in such a high-profile case, you'd think he would not be so clever about it." this was from Art Torres, a Repub..no, make that Democrat Party Chairman. Oops. Well here's another quote: "I think it is a political mistake to be engaged in activity that raises this question in a campaign. I think this is a major political problem for him." This was from Insurance Commissioner John Garamendi - who, let me check....is a Democrat.

So I guess it wasn't just a Republican conspiracy this time. But what was the "question" Cruz referred to? If the question was, "Hey buddy, what are you going to do for the Indian gambling folks now that they've given you a king's ransom?" Then I don't see how he answered it. If the question was, "Do you think it's right to go against the will of the people who voted for prop 34, by using sleazy loopholes?" I'm not sure he answered that one either. Based on the answer, it sounds like the question was: "How do I weasel out of this?"

Oh and in case anyone is wondering, the anti prop 54 ads will feature the most qualified person to speak on the subject - one Cruz Bustamante. Yes, the ads will feature Cruz, not saying "vote for me" exactly, but still up on the podium, looking and sounding just like the Cruz who's running for Governor.

I suppose if someone gave me $1,000,000 to break someone's legs and it was found out and then I gave the money to some charitable group - who then broke the person's legs, it would be about the same thing. But would it still be wrong?

I suppose the answer is clear to everyone. Everyone, except those who have their heads in the clouds.

2003-09-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

The Lost Cause Found

I've been interviewed a lot lately, and inevitably one question always comes up: "you know you can't win the election, why bother?" This is a valid question and I answer by explaining my definition of winning in the context of the recall - namely, by getting my ideas seen and heard.

But something about the subtext of the question bothers me. Does everything have to be a safe bet in life? Should one pay heed to the naysayers? How high should one aim?

While this blog isn't about me per se, I'll relate a personal story. Way back when, I wanted to study filmmaking with the idea of working in motion pictures. So I applied to a bunch of film programs and got into NYU film school. In the time I was there, the professors made it very clear to us we were the best of the bunch. Each of us was led to believe we'd excel and be able to do work someday in the movie industry. I attended for a time, took some compelling courses but eventually had to leave because I couldn't afford it.

When I ended up at the more affordable San Jose State University, I found a whole different perspective. I remember one especially pompous, pipe smoking professor asking why we were taking film classes at all - there were few jobs in motion pictures and the ones that existed, we'd never get. At best, he assured us, we'd end up pulling cable at some local TV station.

So the NYU people told me I could make it and the SJSU people told me I couldn't. Who was right? And just about this time the fine folks in Sacramento foisted a 40% fee hike on all us students. I was putting myself through school at the time and this wasn't welcome news.

Did I change majors or quit? No. I didn't give up, I did what I could to fight the bums in Sacramento and ignore the creeps in San Jose. And got my degree.

Fast forward to today: I work in visual effects for motion pictures. And now I'm running for Governor. And one of my issues is fighting fee increases in higher education.

So what's the moral to this tale? I'll answer it with another story - this one about a fellow classmate at SJSU, a guy who took the same courses and graduated the same year as me. The last time I saw him, he was working the counter at a car rental place. Now there's nothing wrong with working in car rental, but he revealed the job wasn't totally fulfilling. How'd he end up there? Maybe my classmate took the "aim low" crowd a little too seriously.

So I'll stick to being a starry-eyed idealist going after lost causes. Why am I running, you ask? Ask the guy at the car rental counter - ask him about lost causes.

2003-09-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Of Debates and Used Cars - A Critical Analysis

Part one: winnowing the field

Out of the five, only three, Bustamante, McClintock and Camejo are serious candidates. Now I'm sure Huffington and Ueberroth are decent people, but I sense they don't have the drive or street smarts for the job. And I suspect both will leave the field soon.

Let's face it, Huffington is a very rich lady who takes on liberal social causes out of a sense of "noblesse oblige." She sticks to her well-worn sound bites and makes good sounding, but facile proposals. "Books, not bars" is cute, but - hello - if we don't fund prisons sufficiently, we'll have a California version of Attica on our hands (or was Huffington still living in Greece when that happened?). Has she ever heard of prisoner's rights? Does she want crowded, third world style prisons? Did she investigate the issue or talk to someone in corrections before cooking up her tasty sound bites?

Huffington smiled and mugged her way through the event, clearly the most comfortable of the bunch in front of the cameras - and she should be, she's a professional commentator. Though I give her points for calling out Bustamante on the bribery issue, in general I got the feeling she's doing this as a lark and doesn't have the core knowledge or horse sense to do the job. Wouldn't buy a used car from her because there'd be something wrong with the engine - which she wouldn't even know about. But the paint would be perfect.

Ueberroth cuts a sort of avuncular figure, pleasant and eschewing personal invective. He is short on specifics, business oriented and like Huffington, gives the impression he doesn't take the campaign totally seriously. When asked how he'd ferret out waste and fraud in Medi-Cal, he hemmed and hawed and gave some generic platitude. A common sense approach would have been to say, "look, I don't know - but I'll find out." Now if Mr. Ueberroth looked at my website, he'd have seen my "whistle blower" proposal. It's not a new concept, but one that worked in California in the 70s and would work for Medi-Cal now.

I think Ueberroth would be better off as a business advisor or maybe just a doting grandfather. Might buy a used car from him - you'd know it got every oil change and tune up. But it would be a big, old boring car I'd never drive.

Part two: Right, Left and the squishy Center

McClintock is the sort of guy you'd want in the foxhole if you were in the Ardennes fighting the Jerrys. He's a straight talking, no nonsense guy with a good grasp of the facts (at least his facts). He knows his mind and he'll give you a piece of it. When asked about controversial issues like prop 187, licenses for the undocumented, or the death penalty, he gives his answers straight, without sugar coating: Yes, no, yes.

Very much to the right, he's unlikely to find a willing audience among the touchy feely crowd, but at least you know what you're getting - unlike some other Republican candidates. I think I'd buy a used car from this guy, but he'd probably be selling an armored personnel carrier and I'm not in the market for one of those.

Camejo did a good job as the passionate voice for the underclass. He was, like McClintock, well versed on the issues and had facts (at least his facts) at his fingertips. And he infused his numbers talk with some true gut feelings.

Probably the most energetic and vital of the bunch, Camejo is a true believer. When he talked about the rich only paying 7%, while I pay 11%, I started getting ticked off along with him. Of course h ave the rich SOBs pay more, damnit! But are those the correct figures? Hmmm. At least he got me thinking. I wouldn't buy a used car from this guy because he'd detail the karma of the battered car, how it took him to Colorado and back, how it has good "energy," blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, he wouldn't know the last time he changed the oil.

It was Bustamante's debate to lose as the front runner in this group of polling midgets. He didn't lose, but he didn't win either. He lacked the fire of a Camejo or the steely determination of McClintock. He was at his best when he defended giving social services to undocumented workers. He spoke of his own time picking cotton and pears, saying he still understands what it's like to toil in the fields. Here we saw the true Bustamante, the emotions were authentic and used to define an issue.

The rest of his performance was uneven; some over practiced lines, some terse answers, Clintonesque self-righteousness about the Indian Casino money, and moments of creeping Grayness. Like his campaign slogan, he's sort of the No, Yes man in personality - the average guy one minute, cagey politician the next. Who's the real Bustamante? I might buy a used car from him, but I'd take it to a mechanic and have it thoroughly checked first.

Random thoughts

First thought: Gray's pre debate chat only pulled him further into the arrogant, self possessed category. In answering questions about what he'd do differently, he went back to the "it's been a sobering experience...it's no fun being attacked in the press" routine. Again, all about him. Hey dummy, we don't care about how you feel - how are you going to fix what's broke?

Second thought: I've seen and talked to many of the less publicized candidates and now I've gotten an impression of the "major" candidates as well. Honestly, a lot of the lesser known folks are better speakers, more committed, and better versed on the issues.

Third thought: Explaining the debate set up, one of the moderators said they "obviously" had to limit the numbers of candidates. But why limit it to five? Look at the Democratic contenders for President - at last count nine. Surely, a few of the "citizen candidates" could be added to the next debate; let an objective group of political analysts look at the less publicized candidates and pick the person(s) with the most serious grasp of the issues. Or poll Californians on the "below the line" candidates.

We have to be wary of the salesmen trying to steer us to the shiny cars up front, let's get a look at the whole lot.

2003-09-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

The Circus Has Come to Town

Over in sleepy burg of Walnut Crick, the caravan of dusty satellite vans has rolled into town. Barking dogs and curious little kids have come to look at the bland meat puppets with their dangling microphones and creamy smiles. The glinty-eyed cameras sit poised, ready for activity, the air heavy with excitement and gossip. Shortly, a few jackasses and at least one small elephant will trample in, heralding the start of the show.

Thus will begin the first debate of the recall election. All the media crowned candidates will be there save Arnie, who no doubt is too busy studying the collected works of Pythagoras. The questions to be answered today: will Gray be defiant, or will he finally apologize for being an arrogant bastard? Will Cruz bust out as the champion of the oppressed, while trying to play down the loot he's garnered from the unsavory gambling interests? Will Peter Ueberroth and Tom McClintock manage not to put everyone to sleep? And the biggest question of all - will anyone even watch?

They're starting the show at the wrong time - 4:00 on a Wednesday, when most people are still at work. Am I the first to mention this? Arnie at least knew when people would be around: Labor day at the fair. What a better place to peddle his cotton candy messages to the corn dog media?

Perhaps it's not about reaching the people. After all, what do the people matter in an election molded by smart pollsters and clever media buys? Maybe only political analysts and professional opinion makers should be privy to such displays. And let the yapping, powder-faced TV talkers explain everything later - using small words.

Well this time, I think people will think for themselves. They may not watch every debate - this is why people have become disgusted with politics in the first place. But the people have spoken by putting the recall on the ballot and the people will speak again Oct 7. Will one of the major candidates win? Probably. But now people have seen regular citizens run as legitimate candidates, whether the politicians think so or not.

So I say let the circus begin. Once the caravans have left Walnut Crick and the jackasses have left the stage, maybe everyone will have a second look at the serious citizen candidates.

2003-09-02T14:11:00.000-07:00

Running scared

After a long hiatus in a "secure location," we've finally seen Governor-in-waiting Arnie hit the campaign trail. Yesterday, he was at the Sacramento fair, appearing before a crowd of cheering fans - evidentally confused about whether it was a movie premiere, political event or farm animal display.

America's favorite action politician campaigned in the best movie star fashion - excitingly brief appearance, peppered with pleasing sound bites. "Dis administration is not representing you (indicating someone in the adoring crowd) "It's not representing you, (pointing to someone else) it's not representing you,(indicating one of his own security people) it's not representing you. It's representing dee special interests." His thoughts on education? "More teachers, more classrooms - everything." This eloquent oratory was followed by much shaking of hands and smiles.Fade to black, roll the commercial.

According to his "people," Arnie is so darned busy with these important appearances, he has little time for debates. He'll only do one - the one where he's gets the questions in advance. To quote Monty Python: "he may be an idiot, but he's no fool." He's clearly scared. The big man with the marquee muscle is afraid to speak about specifics, afraid to debate the Gray milquetoast and the portly number two man. How hard can that be for the allegedly learned man with the advanced degree?

On the other hand, we have candidates not afraid to speak on specifics, not afraid to speak to the press. As hard as Arnie is trying not to be specific, these less publicized candidates are struggling to get their specific ideas heard. And they're doing this surrounded by a constant drumbeat of scorn: labeled as "joke" candidates,"lesser" candidates, the untouchable "others." For these folks to continue in the face of such insults shows a level of courage not seen in our he-man movie hero.

In the interest of advancing the public's knowledge, I'll present a few of these specific ideas from the citizen candidates.

WARNING: the following contains well thought out, specific ideas - this may be new and alarming to those used to safe generalities. Proceed with caution - at the first sign of mental activity, take two aspirin and watch T3 until the feeling passes.

Feinstein on cutting state spending:

First, cut the governor's and executive staff pay 20% and challenge the legislature to do the same. Second, eliminate unnecessary state jobs, especially bloated administrative staff - keep the people who do the work, lose the people who just think about the work. Third, we get rid of most "special commissions" designated by the governor - these are political payback positions.

To a degree these moves are symbolic, but before we ask people to take a pay cut - in the form of new taxes, the leaders need to show they're willing to take a hit as well.

To help find and get rid of waste and fraud, we establish a "whistle blower." The whistle blowers are give a 2% cut of the savings gained by the state, both sides win.

Cheryl Bly-Chester on reducing the deficit:

Those taxpayers who itemize their charitable deductions will be encouraged to give a portion of those contributions to the State. The incentive will be that for every dollar they volunteer to the State, the contributors will be able to claim $1.50 charitable contribution on their tax returns to the Franchise Tax Board. Therefore, they can get into a lower tax bracket and reduce their overall tax liability to the General Fund.

The contributors can allocate their contributions to the specific budget items that they want to support. In this way, they can give directly to their pet state-funding program instead of giving money to political campaigns intending to influence a vote for that project.

To avoid competition between state and other charitible organizations, contributions to the state could not exceed 50% of the total charitable contributions made in a single tax year - you can still give to your church or other non-profit organization. To take advantage of the tax benefit, the tax-payer would have to make equal contributions to other causes.

Jonathan Miller on the reviving the economy:

I propose waiving state income taxes for all newly hired employees for the first 6 months of employment. In order to qualify for this tax break, the employee must currently be qualified to receive unemployment benefits by the California EDD department, and the employee must be hired by a company other than his or her last employer.

This proposal has two benefits:

1. It will put more Californians back to work, improving their own economic situations and our overall economy.

2. It will reduce the unemployment burden on our state budget, making it easier for the state to pay its bills and improve its credit rating.

My proposal will work, because it will reduce the total payroll expense for new hires. A company can hire an employee at a reduced salary, because the employee's net pay will be the same, since no state taxes are being deducted from the gross pay. This will provide an incentive to employers to hire more people. Companies will see increased productivity and growth as a result of their increased staff, and our economy will get back on track.

Georgy Russell on creating clean elections:

Money has undeniably corrupted our electoral process. The notion that a typical citizen might ascend to the governorship is so ridiculously foreign to Californians, most believe it is impossible. The only candidates with an outside chance of winning are increasingly those who succumb to special interests or those who spend millions of their own dollars.

With a Clean Election Act in California, we can level the playing field and give "ordinary" citizens with ideas a chance to run. Candidates who demonstrate broad support by collecting a signature and a few dollars from few thousand people will receive public funding for their campaign costs.

Imagine a state where great ideas are valued over great amounts of money. Imagine the new leaders and innovative solutions that would emerge. This is true campaign finance reform, and we can make it happen.

(and since this is my blog, one more from me)
Feinstein on higher education:

Restore funding the the CSU and UC system; lower fees to previous affordable levels and implement a program of guaranteed baseline funding for CSU and UC - similar to Prop 98 funding protection used in K-12.

Impose special taxes for businesses who use more than four H1B visa workers - this money is then earmarked for the higher education fund.

Unify educational requirements between the CC and CSU / UC systems so transfer students don't have to retake introductory courses, this will reduce the time it takes to graduate. Flatten the organizational structure of the the UC and CSU systems - make sure the money is used for teaching and not bloated administrative staff.

Just a few specific ideas from the "joke" candidates. You now may return to your regularly scheduled "real" candidates....

2003-09-02T00:04:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, three Gubernatorial hopefuls appeared before the Indian Gaming Board seeking praise and gobs of money from the civic minded Native Americans. After their presentations, the candidates and their hosts retired to a "donation tipi" for a pow-wow. In a Feinstein Campaign Report exclusive, we have the transcript of that meeting.

In attendance: head of the Indian Tribal Gaming Counsel, Chief Bags O' Money, assisted by lieutenants Bob Small Bills and Little Change Purse. The candidates included Gray, Cruz and the Republican standard bearer Tom McClintock, in a rare moment of bipartisan money grubbing.

Chief Bags: Welcome, welcome. Sit down everyone. Here, have a peace pipe....

Cruz: That looks like a cigar.

Chief: Pipe, cigar - what's the difference? At least it's not the dope.

Gray: Who you calling a dope?

Chief: Somebody's a little sensitive...Anyway, let's dispense with the formalities, what's the opening bid?

Cruz: For a mere $300,000, you get all the slot machines you want. More than will fit in your casinos - the place will be lousy will slots I tell ya; I see slots in every bakery, coffee shop and barbershop. Slots in nursery schools and maternity wards...big slots, little tiny baby slots....

Gray: That's nothing, I'll give you the slots, plus I'll throw in the right to appoint members of the gaming commission, and for a limited time only, veto power on any bill.

Chief: Ooooh!

Gray: And I'll throw in set of steak knives absolutely free!

Chief: Does that include shipping?

Tom: Forget about it, I can go one better - once I'm elected, I'll make Cruz the official greeter at your casinos. You can put him in a headdress, face paint, whatever you want.

Cruz: Hey!

Tom: It's not like you're doing anything important...

Cruz: Listen, Mr. No Chance In Hell, I'll busta-mante your frickin' face...

Chief: Please, please, don't fight. You're like little kids. Vito - er, I mean Small Bills, break them up.

SmallBills: You want I should knock some sense into them, boss?

Chief: Not just yet...

Cruz: You know, you guys don't look Indian...

ChangePurse: What! Indians - where!?

Chief: What are you trying to say? So because we wear pinky rings we can't be Native American? For your information paleface, we're the, uh... Cosa Nostraeca Tribe, yeah. Sicilian Band. Very old and respected.

Cruz: Never heard of that one.

Chief: Please. Everybody have a peace cigar. Let's get back to the wampum talk.

Gray: Okay, here it is, final bid. We make the capitol building into the state's biggest casino - imagine, the sound of slot machines echoing in the rotunda, sports betting in the legislative chambers, John Burton could deal blackjack and Brulte can do the Pai-Gow poker. And we'd put a baccarat table in the Lt. Governor's office....

Cruz: Not so fast, mannequin hair!

Chief: Wait a minute, sounds like Gray is moving in the right direction. How about a giant lit up sign as you drive into downtown Sacramento: "The biggest Little Corrupt City in the World?"

Tom: Excuse me, when do we get the money, I have an appointment with the Zenith Insurance people.

Chief: Aren't they the worker's comp insurance guys? They just raised my rates again - it's a crime I tell you. Wish I was in that racket.

Gray: Yeah, yeah that's them. But you're too late, Tom - they already got me.

Cruz: Oh don't be silly, we're all getting a piece.

Gray: That's right, what was I thinking...duh.

(All laugh)

2003-08-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

Music to my ears

The recall election has created a lot of noise; celebrity candidates major and minor, who is getting what money from whom, this poll, that poll - and what about the hanging chad? Lost in this cacophony are serious, lesser-known candidates. We know we're unlikely to win, but even getting our ideas heard is impossible.

What if there was some way to build our solo voices into a chorus - not all singing the same note, but harmonizing together?

In this sense, yesterday was the first day of chorus practice. About forty of the less publicized candidates came together for a Candidates Forum aboard an old aircraft carrier, the USS Hornet. It was an amazing turnout, with people coming as far away as LA and the Central Valley. I got to meet many of them; a CPA, a student, small business owners, attorneys, homemakers, all regular folks.

We met, we spoke, we agreed and agreed again. The amount of harmony present was remarkable. It's as if people in different parts of the state had the same idea - fed up with politics as usual, they decided to create change themselves. Phrases like "constitutional convention," "history making," and "unprecedented event" were heard. After a short time, and some discussion, we came up with a general statement for the press and went out together.

Interestingly, this unity was created with citizens of different political affiliations - Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Greens, and Natural Law.

In talking to the people yesterday, it's clear the less publicized candidates have a heartfelt desire to make an impact on state policy and help fix the state's problems. We may have different affiliations, but as a political chorus, we can be united. It remains to be seen if we can cut through noise of the clanking old political machine, but if we do, it won't be music to the ears of the people in power.

"A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune." - Anonymous
--

2003-08-29T15:09:00.000-07:00

Who wants to be a campaign millionaire?

In the clouded atmosphere of professional politics, we know ideas and substance often get in the way of the ultimate objective - to win the money race. The game has just started and leading the pack is, of course, Gray with nearly $4 million. Arnie has acquired $3.1 million so far - but if he hocks that huge blue ring of his, I'm sure he could add another thousand at least. And coming up third is Cruz, with a barely perceptible $836,000. Loser....

A few of the candidates spent yesterday appearing before the Indian Gaming Board to plead their case. Sort of "Gong Show" meets "What's my Campaign Line?" Where the correct answer gets the contestant that coveted Indian gambling money. Gray was first out of the chute, with a promise to let the Gaming Board appoint members of the gambling commission. "There are no better experts in Indian gaming than Indian tribes," beamed the aptly named Jacob Coin, a tribal executive. No doubt hearing the clink of his last name in Gray's words.

Not to be outdone, Cruz offered to lift restrictions on the number of slot machines tribes can operate. It's unclear whether Mr. Coin liked this as much as Gray's offer. I guess we'll just have to wait for the next report from the Fair Political Practices Commission. Hey, maybe Cruz can offer to put some Indian leaders on that commission - think of the possibilties. "There's no better expert on political graft than the people who shell out the graft" Mr. Coin could say. And of course he'd be right.

And in other financial news, apparently the pro recall group has fallen on hard times, with a measly $12,000 in their account. "It is clear that, without their sugar daddy, the pro-recall forces cannot sustain their efforts," A Davis underling sneered, referring to the loss of support from former candidate Darrell Issa."(this) tells you the general public is not interested in supporting the recall."

The public? Was the public really shelling out millions of dollars? I'd say the sugar daddy metaphor would apply more to benefactors like the Indian Gaming Board. And of course in the end, Gray will duck out the bedroom door while the taxpayers get screwed.

So this is where we stand, with the political analysts hanging on word of every dollar raised and spent, abacuses poised, waiting to see who wins the money game. Of course it's a different story for the less publicized candidates,though not entirely bleak.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll reveal I've raised $0 in contributions but I did receive a digital camera from Gateway with a retail value of $399. This is for an online picture project on the recall: www.candidatecamera.com. No quid pro quo - just seems like an interesting idea, even with the prominent brand name. More responsible corporate involvement than Taco Bell's efforts I'd say.

Knowing I am far behind in the money game, I will work diligently to increase my contributions; a local bakery has said they'd "think about" contributing a loaf of day old bread to my campaign, and a friend has promised a stick of gum. I haven't gotten to an Indian casino yet, but when I do, I'll be hitting those new slot machines - it could be my only chance.

2003-08-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

What is my prop?

This is the question today. I was invited by the LA Times to be photographed as part of a spread on the candidates. The photographer indicated they're looking to reveal some of the candidate's personality and encouraged the use of props to help tell our story. One of the candidates is bringing a broom - kind of a "sweep the politicians out" theme. Another guy, a surfer, is bringing his board. So what should be my prop?

In a campaign with a major movie star and various lesser celebrities, it's easy for journalists covering the events to fall into the trap of a theatrical scenario with a simple plot line, major characters, minor characters, props, costumes - the whole production. For a reporter the question is: how's story going to be written? Certainly the goofy part of the recall has been told and has gotten tired. And the battle of the titans is continuing as expected, with an occasional bit of gossip here and there; past peccadillos, money from Indian tribes, what does Arnie think about...? Does Arnie even think? Boring. Same old movie script.

Well I'm pitching a new movie - not the same predictable tale. This is the story of regular folks, who've risked a lot of dough and time and decided to have a go at influencing public policy. Getting elected as Governor? Most know that's not possible, but still they continue on with the race. I think it's a pretty good premise. And as for setting, we've come up with a great location.

This Saturday, a group of the serious, but less publicized, candidates will have a "summit." The purpose will be to come up with some areas of agreement and develop strategies for getting our messages out. For those interested, it will start at 10:00 at the former Alameda Point Naval base, on the USS Hornet aircraft carrier/museum. We've invited the press and we'll see how many show up to tell our story.

And it's a great backdrop for a story about citizen candidates. This WWII era aircraft carrier reminds us of the citizen soldiers of the past - normal people who quit their civilian lives to serve a greater good. Today some of us have become citizen candidates to try and serve the greater good of fixing our great state.

So I guess the aircraft carrier is my prop. And like the ideas we're trying to get across, maybe a bit unwieldy to bring to a photo shoot.

2003-08-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

I heard about a study by USC professor Richard Easterlin concluding increased income doesn't necessarily correlate to increased happiness. Now I could go off about having been through times of "decreased income" and times of greater income, to give my adm ittedly non-scientific thoughts on the subject. But this isn't about me.

Since the news is all abuzz with the topic of campaign money these days, the question should be: "does increased campaign income correlate to increased happiness in candidates?"

I could give some recent anectdotal evidence to see what conclusions may be drawn:

According to a report in the SF Chronicle, Gray met with one of his longtime backers, a Mr. Warren Hellman, who confessed to switching to Arnie's side. Upon hearing this, Gray reportedly snapped: "What, after everything I've done for you?" (I wonder what Gray did do for him? Another study there perhaps) Anyway, clearly the loss of this potential income made Gray very unhappy.

Arnie is taking a little heat for criticizing others for taking money - from special interests who'll expect pay back - then taking such money himself. "I don't promise anyone anything. There's no strings attached to anything." Says Arnie. It sounds like he's becoming unhappy about people seeing him take the money, yet seems perfectly happy actually taking it.

Then our favorite Number Two Man is getting dinged for exploiting loopholes in prop 34 - the campaign finance reform initiative - to receive a $300,000 check from Indian tribes. One of Cruz's apparatchiks responded: "We're abiding by the way they wrote it, we didn't write Proposition 34. If they want to change it, they need to change it." "They?" Who's "they?" Isn't Bustamante part of the "they" involved in changing laws, advocating for laws, using the bully pulpit to create change? So again, he's unhappy with others seeing the money change hands, but evidentally pretty pleased getting it.

In terms of the citizen candidates, we're in the same happily underfunded boat. Or is it really that happy? We're all so frustrated by our inability to buy our way in with ads, PR teams and paid spokespeople, we're having a citizen (read no money) candidate summit this weekend to discuss strategy. So for the lesser money candidates, lack of funds doesn't equal "happy days are here again."

Of course we could create another study looking at how increased campaign funds relates to voter happiness. But, no - that's not really an important variable. What was I thinking?

In conclusion, I would like to ask Prof essor Easterlin - strictly in the interest of vigorous scientific study - to consider giving up some of his non-happiness producing income (which, as a tenured USC professor, I'm sure unhappily large),and give said money to my campaign. My hypothesis: non-happiness producing income can be converted into happiness producing campaign funds. Socio-political alchemy of sorts.

It may not be good science, but it might be good citizenship.

ˇˇ

2003-08-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Topic one: The gloves come off

"Gray Davis with a receding hairline and a moustache,"
Is how Arnie describes our favorite Number Two Man. I have a problem with this. Sure, I've made Cruz the butt of my jokes, calling him "a rotund little man with a big title" or "a cherubic man with no discernable job duties." But when I write such things, it's coming from a lower tier, never heard of before candidate railing against the entrenched power structure. And I'm writing it on a blog with maybe 6 or 7 readers (on a good day). But when superstar Arnie talks, it's coming from a leading contender - and everything he says gets picked up and repeated by the media.

So I say bad move Arnie, stick with your magic blue ring to hypnotize the voters. Quit with the personal attacks, or at least make them funnier. In the coming weeks, expect the level of discourse to decline even further:

Budget? What does Bustamante know about the budget - he can't even budget his food.

Budget? It's what Bustamante can't do to his belt after he eats meal. Budge it...

It's a good thing Davis is being recalled, Bustamante was running out of things to eat.

Face it, he's just fat and I have big muscles. And more hair. Did I mention the hair?

Vote for me dammit! Or I will destroy you all!

Topic two: That old Bell magic

I was going to leave this topic alone, since I've covered it already. Then I got the big brown envelope in the mail...

A little background: since becoming a certified candidate, I've received a deluge of mail - companies selling campaign signs and election knick knacks, media outlets offering ad space, questionnaires from every conceivable group - even a company offering to fly my message off the end of a plane (!). But lingering in this pile, I see the big brown envelope, with Taco Bell emblazoned on it, all proud and happy.

Enclosed was a chirpy little letter announcing the "Taco Poll." The letter went something like this:

Dear joke candidate,

Since you're obviously a loser, we'd like to rub this fact in your face by showing our total lack of respect for both you and elections in general. Yesterday, we launched the Taco Poll, asking Californians (the normal ones, not the nut jobs like you) to "put their vote where their mouth is," simply by coming into California Taco Bell restaurants and selecting menu items.

We'd describe the menu items here, but frankly we don't eat the stuff ourselves and just writing about it, well, makes us ill. But we'd like to thank you for being part of our little project. If this works out, we have an idea for a TV spot where all the "lesser" candidates (this means you) climb out of a clown car - all dressed in colorful attire, waving oversized ballots. A perfect opportunity to get your message out to an even wider audience!

As a corporation with outlets all over the world, we have no official stance on elections or democracy - so we figured, heck, why not make a funny joke out of it? Truthfully, we only believe in money. Lots and lots and lots of money. Join us in our quest to make even more money and to "Think Outside The Bun."

Best regards,

You Friends at Taco Bell

At least this is how I remember it - or maybe I was just reading between the lines...

2003-08-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

Due to numerous complaints from "sensitive" people, todays blog entry has been deleted.

Tune in tomorrow for the more bland inoffensive thoughts.

Thank you,

The Management

2003-08-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Tragedy of the Unrealized Hero

It has all the hallmarks of a great story - the hard working, young man from simple beginnings toils in the sun-baked, dusty valley of California. Hearing about a promising future, our hero drives across the country in a beat up pickup to take a low-level political job in DC.

The job fires something in the man as realizes he can help people like himself. Moving up slowly, the unassuming man cut from cheap cloth never stands out - except in that he doesn't stand out. The brilliant sons and daughters of privilege ignore the hard working, dull man as they buy and sell people's futures.

Eventually the modest man gets a big job, an important job, but he spends his time dedicating buildings and announcing new coloring books. Then, unexpectedly, the arrogant man at top is about to be replaced. The people are looking for someone better, maybe the unassuming man. But here's where the tale goes wrong. Our man may not be exactly as we've seen.

If we go back to our story and look closer, we see the furtive glance, the handshake in a shadowy corner. We see the cold influence of big money contributions. The privileged types have compromised the good man from the hot, dusty valley.

So the man walks onto the stage, at what should have been his moment of triumph. Instead of presenting a vision of change and reform, we get a tepid speech by a tepid man. His ideas are lukewarm, protecting special interests and neglecting the people. We see our potential hero is no hero at all.

And so I return to the questions of this campaign. Where do we find the leaders not owned by big money or special interests, And do we need heroes or do we need regular people with honesty and common sense?

(To honor the memory of unrealized dreams everywhere, the "All the News That's Fit For Cruz" feature has been retired)

2003-08-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

Victus Populi

The election is still weeks away, but the voting has already started if you look at the tabloid media. It seems Taco Bell is offering California voters the chance to cast their votes early in the form of selective "food" purchases. To vote for Arnie, you get some ersatz beef thingee, to vote for Gray, you choose the limp chicken taco and to vote for any of the other 135 candidates - you buy some godawful crap called the "stufft grilled doyoureallywantoeatthis." I may have gotten the names wrong, but you get the idea.

Legal disclaimer:
Now let me just say (don't sue me) I'm certain the material Taco Bell offers (don't sue me) is wholesome and entirely safe to eat (don't sue me). Yum! What is said here is simply the personal opinion of the author and hopefully protected by some pesky amendment to the constitution. Thank you.

Now I like debasing our election system while consuming fast food as much as the next guy, but what troubles me is something deeper. Call it the Taco Bell-ization of the recall election. It's already been decided the race is between Arnie and Gray. Hell, they've even lumped Bustamante in with the rest of the rabble - and heaven knows he's earned some level of respect - just see today's "All the News That's Fit For Cruz". Taco Bell is only reflecting what is reported in the major newspapers, said by the professional opinion makers, shown on TV. The trend is to provide a fast, tasty, easily consumable election story.

Where I used to work, most Fridays I'd go with co-workers to a place called the Food Court. This place was bedlam - crowded with people, competing signs and food booths everywhere - but you could get a falafel, Vietnamese, Greek, Thai, an American hamburger, Afghani, Cajun, even (real) Mexican food. Anything, everything. Sure it wasn't all great, but some was quite good and you definitely had a choice.

Fast food joints by their nature need to limit their selection. I get it. There's no way to have every possible choice. So pick 1, 2, or 3 - make your choice, hurry up, there's a hungry fat guy behind you. But what if you don't want the limp Gray Chicken or the greasy Arnie beef? What if the lumped together third choice doesn't quite satisfy you? Well it's almost lunch time. I say go to the food court and have a walk around.

Todays "All the News That's Fit For Cruz" (the Dreaded Life of a Lt. Governor)
A rerun of my favorite headllines:

July 13, 2003
"Lt. Gov. Unveils Coloring Book Promoting Diversity"

February 19, 1999
"Lt. Governor Bustamante Visits Salinas; Declares Friday 'Freeze Assistance Awareness Day'"

November 19, 2002
"Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante expands 'Operation Gobble'"

2003-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, Governor in waiting Arnie convened nineteen of his closest financial advisors for a summit on the California economy. The attendees included billionaire investor Warren Buffet, eighty three year-old former Secretary of State George Schultz, and a group of financially savvy extras from central casting.

While it was a closed door session, my undercover reporter Milton Mietbol managed to conceal a microphone in the room. In an exclusive to the Feinstein Campaign Report, here's a transcript of that meeting:

Arnie: Velcome. Vee are heir to discuss how to fix CalEEfornia's economy and...
Buffet: I bid one million dollars!
Arnie: No Varren! I'm not selling CalEEfornia - vee are hier to...
Buffet: I'm talking cash, you dumb kraut!
Schultz: Who? Are we on break- where's the bar?
Arnie: Listen, vee need to find a vay to raise...
Buffet: Okay knucklehead, I'll give you a mil five, but I ain't taking the La Brea tar pits.
Arnie: Varren, listen, even if I were selling - and I'm not saying I am - you vould have to take the La Brea tar pits, it's part of the deal.
Buffet: No go, you Hun bastard! The pits are right out, that place gives me the creeps. Two mil - final offer...
Schultz: Waiter!
Arnie: Please George, dis isn't a restaurant, dis is dee economic...
Extra1: Excuse me, if we're ordering, I'd like to mention I'm a vegan and...
Buffet: Who let that freak in?
Extra2: Can I get a pastrami on rye?
Arnie: (bangs on desk) Quiet! Everybody get down! Please - vee have to be serious! Vee need to find a vay to increase revenue without raising taxes and keep education safe so the people of CalEEfornia vill enjoy a prosperous, bright future!

(long pause)

Buffet: Oh, please.

(raucous laughter)
Arnie: I had you there for a minute!
Schultz: Waiter? Oh waiter!

Here's a good discussion of the budget from Daniel Weintraub at the Sac Bee (go to the Aug. 21 entry)

And my message extends down under, in an interview with an Aussie journalist Greg Tingle

Now today's: "All the News That's Fit For Cruz"
(or - the Dreaded Life of a Lt. Governor)

May 2, 2001
"Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante Invests In Founders Bank, Opens New Bank Account"

November 16, 2001
"Lt. Governor Cruz M. Bustamante Brings 'Operation Gobble' to San Diego"

February 19, 1999
"Lt. Governor Bustamante Visits Salinas; Declares Friday 'Freeze Assistance Awareness Day'"

2003-08-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

The Myth of the Expert Politician

I was invited to be part of a PBS program interviewing the candidates. They provide the questions in advance and as I was going through the list, I was struck by the amount of specific detail it covered. While I understand the desire to deal with substantive issues, I wonder if their approach is influenced to a degree by the myth of the Expert Politician.

The myth goes something like this: somewhere there exists a person, akin to a wizard or shaman, with all the knowledge and all the answers. This Expert can rattle off facts and figures, then magically cure our ailments, financial or social. People are always looking for this Expert, but the Expert is never found. Politicians in power often claim to be the Expert and scoff at others vying for their job, because they lack this special knowledge.

Bill Clinton had elements of the mythical Expert; he is known to have an incredible memory for the minutiae of policy and numbers. He used these skills to good effect in the various debates. Arnie recently surrounded himself with 23 minor shamans to imbue himself with their expertness, though he himself is clearly not the Expert. "The public doesn't care about figures." He says.Of course he's wrong."CalEEfornians" may not care to know the numbers, but they want their Expert to know.

We're searching for the Expert, when the real experts are all around us. These are the people who've gained by experience the knowledge of funding their education, running a small business, teaching our kids, being without health insurance, being unemployed - the expert knowledge of everyday life.

Amateur politicians and citizen leaders built this nation. Sure, now all we see are the boys with the haircuts and the suits, delivering polished lines like Experts. But don't be fooled, the only ones able to solve the problems are regular people with common sense. We have found our expert leader and that leader is us.

Due to illness, the "All the News That's Fit For Cruz" feature is on hiatus. Tune in tomorrow for more scintillating headlines about our favorite Number Two Man.

2003-08-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'd like to talk today about child rearing.

Now I know what you're thinking, what does raising kids have to do with the recall campaign? Two words: tough love. Our favorite number two man in Sacramento titled his economic "plan," "Tough Love for California."

Considering "tough love" is a philosophy for raising out of control kids, I feel slightly confused. I mean, are the people of California unruly kids needing papa Bustamante to set us straight? What did we do to deserve this "tough love?" Aren't the unruly ones the juvenile thinkers in Sacramento who increased spending while tax revenues went down? Weren't these the same ones wringing their hands helplessly, while the energy bandits ran off with our money?

Bustamante almost got it right. The idea we're all in this together is a good concept, but let's work as adults to find a solution. I think people are willing to help out in a crisis, but they don't like being dictated to - or treated like kids. Try again Cruz.

Gray took a different approach. His "mea culpa" speech sounded more like a kid trying to wriggle out of bad spot by pointing the finger at everyone else. A more adult approach would have been to take responsibility and then describe how he was going to fix the problem. Hey Gray, just admit you broke the damn window and tell us how you're going to pay for it.

I don't have kids, but my sister does and she uses "time outs" for bad behavior. Come Oct 7, I think we'll find who the adults are in this equation, when the voters give Gray a long, long "time out."

And now today's "All the News That's Fit for Cruz"
(or - the dreaded life of a Lt. Governor)

Before his epiphany about Tough Love, Mr. Number Two was working on other compelling issues:

December 21, 1999
"Lt. Governor Cruz M. Bustamante to Kick-Off Vons Holiday Food Convoy"

April 19, 2000
"Lt. Gov. Cruz M. Bustamante Praises California Census Response Rate"

July 11, 2001
"Lt. Governor Cruz M. Bustamante Donates Blood At Children's Hospital"

and significantly....

January 28, 2002
"Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante Appoints New Press Secretary"

2003-08-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thinking about the news.

Up to this point, most people's opinions about the candidates have been formed by news coverage. Through this coverage, we saw Arnold start his campaign to address California's problems by traveling to New York to have his picture taken.

Then we saw Gray in front of a gas station saying something profoundly uninteresting about nothing related to what people are concerned about. And today we'll hear Gray's long awaited "mea culpa" speech, after which we're supposed to give him a big group hug and let him screw up for another three years.

I have my own mea culpa. I feel I may have been a tad harsh when, in a previous entry, I referred to Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante as a "rotund little man with a big title." Such personal invective has no place in any campaign, and I'm sorry I characterized the number two man in Sacramento as such. I should have called him a "cherubic man with no discernable job duties."

Now I'm sure Mr. Bustamante is a fine fellow with many sterling qualities. It's just I can't figure out what he's been doing to earn his $131,000 a year. To that end, I've decided to create a new feature called:

All The News That's Fit For Cruz
(or - the dreaded life of a Lt.Governor):

Today's offering:

July 13, 2003
"Lt. Gov. Unveils Coloring Book Promoting Diversity"

November 19, 2002
"Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante expands 'Operation Gobble'"

August 22, 2001
"Cruz M. Bustamante Building Opens in Visalia School District"

To give myself equal time, here are some links to stories featuring me. From the good folks at KRON TV:

KRON story

And from a brilliant, incisive reporter at the Sacramento Bee, Daniel Weintraub, there's this:

SacBee Insider

(scroll down to the Aug 18 entry)

2003-08-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

The Circus and Beyond

I hear a lot of talk about the recall election being a "circus." Let's remember the real circus has been going on in Sacramento for the past five years - featuring one especially scary clown. But let's look beyond the circus metaphor a bit.

Back in the day when the circus came into small towns to entertain, there was another type of show also passing through. It was called a "Chautauqua" (shE taw kwE). One source says Chatauquas could be thought of as a "rural 19th century American's Public Broadcasting System." These travelling shows provided education, a little entertainment - and sometimes religion - to people hungry for knowledge.

The concept was not just to entertain, but to edify. It was where "our ancestors went to recharge their intellectual batteries."

So in this recall we do have the circus candidates: the strong man, the two-faced politician, the dolled up pretty ladies, the small man, the half millionaire, half socialist - but we also have the Chautauqua candidates. These aren't sideshow entertainers, but regular people presenting ideas to educate voters about the real issues facing our state.

So you might see a small businessman trying to get the message out about lowering workers comp insurance, you could have a young high tech worker with a plan to clean up the corrupted political process, a teacher with a vision for improving education with technology. And you might even have a guy with a famous sounding name offering specific solutions for fixing the budget mess and improving the state over the long run.

Teddy Roosevelt said, "Chautauqua is the most American thing in America!" And if Mr. Roosevelt were alive today, I believe he'd be proud of our citizen candidates - travelling apart from the circus, in a virtual Chautauqua circuit on the internet.

2003-08-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

Topic: Too much democracy?

On "Meet the Press" this morning, the California recall was discussed. One of the guests was columnist Joe Klein, who said the recall represented an "excess of democracy." My first reaction was outrage. But perhaps this topic deserves further discussion. Is there such a thing as too much democracy?

Let's look at some examples in history; before women got the right to vote in this country, elections were more orderly. Restricting voting rights to men kept democracy under control. But after women got the vote, democracy increased to the point where now every politician must address women's issues. And we even have women candidates - making ballots longer and more complex.

Years ago in the south, the white establishment kept democracy from becoming too excessive by limiting the vote to white folks. Mr. Klein says democracy is really meant for an "informed citizenry." Well back in those days, African Americans were given special tests to determine if they were indeed "informed citizens," of course few passed these arcane tests. And with the addition of the poll tax, the whites were able to effectively keep democracy from running amok.

The "excess democracy" created by the recall may result in an election with some joke candidates. It may mean a long ballot. And yes, maybe every voter isn't as learned or "informed" as Mr. Klein. But given the alternatives, I'll choose a little extra democracy anytime.

2003-08-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Headline: Bustamante surges ahead of Arnold in the Polls

First thoughts: Busta-who? Come on, does anyone really know the rotund little man with the big title? So he's occupied the office next to Davis for five years, what has he done? We've never seen this guy in public. Oh wait, he did give a speech once, to a group of African American labor activists and used the "N" word. He claims it just "slipped out." Huh?

So after five years of Bustamante hiding in his office, bending paper clips and sharpening pencils, he's now the savior of the Democratic party. Because some puppet master at the DNC has given him the thumbs up, we're supposed to rally around the new leader. Well, we don't have to take who they give us. For the first time ever, the closed political system has opened just a little and a few regular people have squeezed in. Here's just a few who've caught my eye (all more qualified than Bustamante):

Bob "Butch" Dole (a Republican, but an okay guy)
Dan Feinstein (my personal favorite)
Garrett Gruener
Johnathan Miller
Georgy Russell

2003-08-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

The massive blackouts back east got me to thinking about some other blackouts. Remember when the lights were going out all over California? Remember how it disrupted people's lives and hurt business throughout the state?

In our case, it wasn't a technical glitch, it was a scheme by shakedown outfits like Enron to steal more money from taxpayers. Blackout blackmail, pure and simple. Am I bringing this up to bash Davis? No, that's too easy - instead, I want people to think about their favorite movie star candidate. It was reported today (LA Times) that in the midst of this blackmail scheme against the state, Arnold and his political pals met with none other than Enron's Ken Lay who proposed even more deregulation to solve the problem. What are Arnold's thoughts about deregulation? Does he still support Ken Lay - seen by many as head of the energy crime syndicate?

Will the media ask Arnold about this? Or will there be now be an information blackout?

2003-08-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

Headline: Schwarzanegger picks Warren Buffet as his "financial advisor."

First thoughts: the billionaire will help the millionaire shaft the little guy in California. And If Warren Buffet really had some ideas about helping California, why the hell didn't he come forward before this? What's his secret plan? Just a PR ploy from the candidate who is all name and no substance.